Forty Weex

My Peaches and Cream

2008-09-02T11:43:00.003-04:00

For further information, please visit My Peaches and Cream ...

For those of you who subscribe and such, the address is www.mypeachesandcream.blogspot.com

The Jayna Story

2008-09-02T11:00:00.005-04:00

Jayna is 12 days old today. And tomorrow is my actual due date. And I'm just now getting around to writing about my birth experience. Blogging is the kind of thing that is no longer a priority when you have a newborn...

I'd say that overall, my experience was...rough. I had a rough time. Nothing went as planned. I had to be induced which means lots of drugs. My pitocin IV began at 8:20 am. I did okay with no pain medication until I was about 5-6 cm dilated. And then I was in pain...an indescribable pain. And I asked for the epidural. I received the epidural at around 4:30pm. By 7:30 pm I was in double the pain that I was in at 5-6 cm...and I was only 6 cm. dilated by then. I was redosed and the pain disappeared for an hour or so. After an hour, the epidural began to not work again and I thought death was near. I was in so much pain. The RNA came back, but I was already 9cm dilated by that time and he couldn't give me anymore epidural medication. He did give me a strong dose of something else through my epidural pump that was supposed to numb me from mid-abdomen down. It did so until about 9:00 pm...half way through my pushing. After one strenuous push, I realized that I could move my toes and that I could feel my feet. And my thought was, "Uh-oh...that ain't good." From then on out I felt EVERYTHING. I felt it when Jayna's head got stuck under my pubic bone. I felt her head just staying there...half way out.

Why did her head get stuck? Well, her umbilical cord was draped over her shoulder and she wouldn't come out!! I remember beginning to cry at the very end and saying repeatedly to Chris, "I can't do this. I'm so tired and it hurts sooo bad. I just can't do it..." After 2 uses of a vacuum, a few good strong pushes, and my doctor yelling at me that yes, I could give birth to this baby because I didn't have a choice, Jayna Madison was born...at 9:53 pm. She weighed 8 lb. 7 oz. and was 20 inches long.

So, 12 days later...would I do it again? Um...ask me in a year. But probably not. I love that little girl like nothing else in the world, but I can't imagine going through that again. Not at this point.

So, it was rough to say the least. But I got such an amazing gift at the end...

Approximately 10 minutes old

An emotional moment between Mom and Jayna

Dad and Jayna bonding

Feeling a little better...

Dad and Jayna ready to go home

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who supported us throughout the pregnancy and who came to see us at the hospital and at home afterward. Thank you to my doula, Terry. You were an outstanding support person. Thank you Nana and Nanna M for everything. Thank you Doc for being great. And...last but not least, thank you Chris. I wouldn't have made it through labor without you. You are such an amazing person...and a great daddy. I love you.

Farewell Forty Weex followers. I hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I did writing...

Stay tuned for new and exciting things...

The Final Frontier

2008-08-20T14:52:00.003-04:00

So, this is the last blog entry I'll write before I have a living, breathing baby. In one respect, I feel as if I've been pregnant forever...but on the other hand, where did the time go? I was thinking yesterday that in just a few weeks/months, I'll be wearing my regular clothes again...and I can't remember what any of them look like! Now that I'm at the very end, I feel immensely unprepared, like I haven't had any time to prepare. I know that 38 weex is a long time, but I don't know what I've done with that time.

I went to the doc yesterday and there hasn't been a change. I'm still about 3cm. dilated, 75% effaced and Jayna is still at -1. My blood pressure was okay and my swelling has gone down a great deal. But my placenta is on it's last leg. Jayna needs to be born. And I'm ready for her to be here! If something doesn't go down tonight, I'll go in for my induction at 7:30 in the morning.

Here are some of my thoughts on my last day of pregnancy:

* I LOVE to have a plan, even if I don't necessarily use it. I like to know what time things are happening. I don't do well with, "We'll be there around 7." That's not good enough for me most of the time. I want to know if "around 7" means 6:45 or 7:15. I need to know what I'm doing...I just like to be prepared. Remember: Proper planning prevents piss-poor performance. BUT...I think I wanted the birth of my child to be completely unplanned. I didn't want to know when she was going to be born. I didn't want to schedule her arrival. I wanted her to be able to do it on her own. And now I don't get that chance. I can't help but feel somehow responsible.

* I feel like I've done everything wrong. I'm having a very difficult time accepting the fact that I am not in control of things. I've been told by doctors that there is nothing I could have done about my blood pressure...and there is nothing I could have done about the placenta. I just can't accept that. It's my body and I should be in tune with it. I feel like I've been fighting with myself NON-STOP for weeks now. And it's no fun.

* There aren't words to describe the excitement. I've pretty much blocked out all of my thoughts about the pain because I just want her here. I. Just. Want. Her. Here. Period. End of story. I feel like I've gotten to know her very well over the past few months and I'm ready to meet her.

* At this point (I said AT THIS POINT), I can't for the life of me determine why women do this to themselves more than once. Pregnancy is such a roller coaster of emotions and the difficulty of everyday tasks is, at the least, daunting. Don't get me wrong...I've enjoyed my pregnancy for the most part, but it's hard work! Is it supposed to be easy? Nope. But I think that any woman who says pregnancy turned out to be exactly what she thought it would be is a damn liar! I've felt things, both emotionally and physically, that I still can't explain...hell, that I'll never be able to explain. It's been a crazy experience and there are definitely things I won't miss. I will, however, miss the fact that right now I am able to keep her safe and warm and soon she'll have to face the world.

* I've learned throughout this pregnancy that if I've ever had any doubts about what a good husband I have that I should let those doubts die. He has gone above and beyond the call of duty while I've been pregnant (actually he does that all the time even when I'm not pregnant, but I've especially appreciated it during the pregnancy). He has cooked countless dinners and cleaned our entire house for weeks on end so that I didn't have to do it. He makes sure I get what I need and want no matter how trivial. And even when I haven't been so nice, he has still stuck around and helped me through all of the emotional ups and downs. I truly don't know what I'd do without him. I can't imagine my life if he weren't in it. He is truly "my soul's recognition of itself in another" (name that movie!). I must have really done something good in the eyes of Karma to deserve him. I love you, Chris. Our lives are about to change like we could've never imagined. Put on your game face. :)

Jayna's World

2008-08-18T11:20:00.003-04:00

Jayna's room is finished...sans tree. I just can't seem to get that damn thing painted!! But I'm working on it a little at a time and she'll have a tree soon enough...but probably not until after she gets here.

Chris has worked his ass off to give his favorite little girl a place she'll love. I can't take credit for hardly any of the work...except all of the choosing. I chose the furniture, bedding, curtains, rug, etc. with minimal help from anyone. I definitely had a vision when I chose things. So, here it is in all it's glory...(remember, some of these pictures may seem silly to you...but I'm a hardcore scrapbooker...)

The view from the door

Crib & Glider

Inside crib (of course I'll take that stuff out when she's in there!)

Dresser, shelves, swing

Cute little clothes that probably won't fit my chubby baby...

Ultrasound photo book and Jayna's first book (it's a wonderful book!)

Cute little birds and bugs on Jayna's swing

Desk my Grandpa made repurposed as a changing table

Things for changing in basket on changing table

"Daughters are a gift from the heart." How sweet!

Attention readers:

2008-08-18T11:19:00.001-04:00

36 & 37 weex pictures have been added below.

37 Weex

2008-08-18T09:28:00.004-04:00

Oh, geez. I still have 36 weex pictures to upload and some miscellaneous pictures of different and odd things. But there are things that first need to be said about my 37 weex doctor appointment.

My appointment was last Thursday. I went in for an appointment and an ultrasound. The ultrasound revealed many good things and a few alarming things. The good things include a good amount of amniotic fluid, Jayna having all of her organs, she is definitely a girl, she is in a good position to be born and she's all-around healthy. The alarming things included the fact that my placenta is beginning to calcify from being used by Jayna, her head cirumference is 9.5 centimeters, she already weighs between 7 lbs. 14 oz. and 8 lbs. 4 oz., and the fact that she and my placenta say that I am 38 weex 5 days pregnant instead of 37 weex, 1 day pregnant. A couple of those are only alarming to me because, well, I have to push her out of there. To the doctor, they just mean she is healthy.

So, where do we go from here?? My blood pressure was still high. The swelling has decided to stick around. And my placenta isn't diffusing nutrients to Jayna as well as it should, and, according to ultrasound, I'm 38 weex 5 days pregnant. Can you, gentle readers, put the pieces together?

My induction is scheduled for Thursday, August 21 at 7:30am. I was given one week to try and induce myself...although she didn't technically say that. I was tested for preeclampsia Thursday through Saturday. That's a fun time. Collecting your pee for 24 hours when you're pregnant is certainly a chore. The doctor also stripped my membranes in the office at the appointment. And holy hell, was that ever uncomfortable.

And where does all of this induction talk leave me in regards to natural labor? Pretty much SOL. My appointment was last Thursday. I met with the doula that I already paid for that evening and she emailed me various ways to try and induce including sex and accupressure points. I've also tried eating spicy foods, hiking (yes, HIKING, not just walking), bouncing on the ball, relaxation techniques...this baby is just a procrastinator. I guess that comes from me. :)

If I do have to be induced, the doc said she'd try and start me out on a low enough dose of pitocin to see if I could handle it and it may help labor start. Since my blood pressure is high and pitocin raises blood pressure, I will have to have an epidural if my blood pressure dose rise. All of the work I've done learning about natural labor and hiring a doula, etc. is for nothing if I have to be induced.

Am I upset? A little. I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm not crying about it. I want Jayna to be healthy and I want to be okay, so I'll do what my doctor says. She has been wonderful throughout all of this and she really is trying to work with me so that I can atleast do a little of what I wanted to. She is the professional, not me.

I have an appointment tomorrow to check my blood pressure and such. If things go badly, I may have to be induced then. If they go smoothly, maybe she'll let me go for a couple of days to see if I'll go into labor on my own. Only time will tell. One thing is for sure...only 4 more days (or less) until little Jayna is here!!

And here are funny pictures with a story:

37 weex with a hat

37 weex...and again with the hat

When you're tested for preeclampsia, one thing you have to do is collect all of your urine for a full 24 hours. To make things easier, the doctor gives you this "hat" to pee in that goes under the toilet seat. You pee into the hat and then pour the urine into a jug they give you. Well, it really does look like a hat!! So, BEFORE I used it, I couldn't resist wearing it like a hat and having Chris take a picture. Fun stuff!!

36 Weex

2008-08-11T11:11:00.005-04:00

Well, there are no 35 weex pictures. I didn't feel like dealing with it. BUT...there are 36 weex pictures.

Well, 36 weex has proven to be even more difficult than previous weex. I'm sure it's mainly because I only have 4 weex left until my due date, I'm giant and I'm uncomfortable because I'm giant. It's ninth month misery, I tell you. Overall, I realize that things could be so much worse, but I know deep down that I could make them a little better if I just changed my attitude. I'm trying to work on that.

Last Thursday I had my 36 weex doctor visit. Good news and bad news. Bad news first...my blood pressure was WAY up! I was told to lie down in the office for awhile and have it checked again. After lying down it dropped dramatically, but the doctor was still alarmed. The swelling in my feet and legs has only gotten worse...that is until the weekend. The doctor put me on restricted work...I can only work 5 hours a day now. most of the rest of my time is supposed to be spent resting with my legs elevated. I've also begun sleeping all night every night with my feet elevated. It's a little of a hassle, but anything to keep me healthy!

I had a particularly difficult day last Thursday. I'm not positive why, but I'm sure it began with me not sleeping well on Wednesday night. It was hot that day and I was miserable. I also knew that I had to have an exam at the doctor which put me on edge a little. Anyway, I'm sure that my blood pressure reflected some of that. I learned from the exam that I am 2 cm. dilated and 50% effaced. Yahoo!! She's closer to being here!!

This Thursday, I have an ultrasound and appointment. We will learn her weight, her exact position and we will learn about my amniotic fluid...if it's sufficient and such. And I can choose to be checked again. I think I will. I'll want to know if I'm dilating more or not.

How's Jayna? She's happy as a clam. How happy is a clam? I hear they're pretty damn happy. She moves around like crazy and likes it when I rub her legs. I think she's ready to meet the world. And I'm ready for her to be here!! Her room is finished, sans tree. I don't think she'll have a tree until after she's born sometime. And I've come to terms with that. It's okay. She has a bed and some diapers and some clothes. At this point that's all that matters in my head.

I packed my hospital bag. I didn't pack much but it's probably still too much. I took things like make-up and hair products. I probably won't even feel like dealing with that stuff, but it's still going with me. Too much is better than not enough, I suppose.

I'm getting irritated with my doula. We've been playing phone tag. And here I am...ready to have a baby anytime and she still hasn't contacted me for a prenatal interview that was supposed to happen around 36 weex. Hello?!? It's time!!

I am really trying to work on my attitude. Chris made a comment to me last Thursday night that I'd had a bad attitude for most of the day. And I said, "It's just one day! I'm allowed to have bad days!" And he replied, "But today could've been the day that you went into labor. Do you want your attitude to ruin that?" That really made me think about things. Although I didn't like being told that my attitude was bad, I realized that I usually don't have good things to say about...well, anything these days. I'm trying. It's getting better...

And here are the pictures:

Moe trying to get in on the picture action

36 LARGE weex

The 36 weex stretchmarked Buddha Belly

And 36 weex pretending to not be uncomfortable...

Pregnancy Brain

2008-08-05T11:20:00.003-04:00

So, you don't know what pregnancy brain is? Well, it's a phenomenon that takes place when an otherwise intelligent and rational woman becomes pregnant and then loses all ability to think rationally, listen to others, or remember anything, even if it happened an hour ago. Also includes wandering off into la-la land several times an hour. See examples below:

* Two weeks ago, Chris and I were driving by the mall. We saw a sign: BLACKBERRYS-(xxx)xxx-xxxx. That's all it said (and yes, with the "Y"). Chris looked at me and said, "Need any blackberries?" To which I replied, "Why would anyone call a phone number for blackberries? Why wouldn't you just go to the grocery and buy them? That must be some pretty special fruit." He very calmly said, "Honey, I think they mean phones, not fruit." Yeah, I felt pretty stupid. HERE'S the kicker: About 5 days later, we were driving home and saw the same sign in a different location. And what did I say?? "Why would anyone call a phone number for blackberries? Wouldn't you just go to the grocery and buy them? That must be some pretty special fruit..." I'm pretty sure Chris was speechless by this point.

* Last week I went to Target and bought some things which included a box of my favorite candy Mike & Ike. I got out of the store and a few miles down the road and decided to eat some candy. I took out the box, opened it and shoved a handful into my mouth...and then promptly spit them back into my hand. I picked up the box...Tropical Typhoon Mike & Ike. What the hell?!? That's not what I bought!! I took out the receipt and read it...as if someone had sneakily switched my original Mike & Ike with these nasty tropical ones. Nope, I sure did buy the tropical ones! I then take a closer look at the box...for those of you who don't know, the original Mike & Ike box is like neon green. The Tropical Typhoon box is...are you ready? PINK. Yes, pink. Now, this box was GIANT. How did I mistake a GIANT PINK BOX for a neon green one? Who the hell knows...

* The day after the Mike & Ike incident, I made Chris stop on our way back to work from lunch to get me the REGULAR Mike & Ike. He asked me to get him a can of cashews while I was in Walgreen's. I went to the candy row and got my NEON GREEN box of candy and headed to the endcap where the cashews ALWAYS are. They were there. They had "Fancy Cashews" and "Lightly Salted Cashews." I got the lightly salted ones because they have less salt than those there fancy ones. I paid and went to the car. We drove away. I handed Chris his cashews. And this is the conversation that followed:

C: Were they out of cashews?
Me: No, they're in your hand. (while rolling my eyes)
C: These are mixed nuts. It's not a big deal, just wondering if there was a reason you got these instead of just cashews.
Me: I didn't buy mixed nuts, I bought cashews.
C: No, you bought mixed nuts. Really, it's not a big deal. Look at the can.
Me: NO, I BOUGHT CASHEWS. (while frantically looking for the receipt as if someone had sneakily switched my merchandise TWO days in a row)
C: Are you really looking for the receipt?? Look at the damn can!! They're mixed nuts!
Me: But I bought cashews...
C: Fine. You bought cashews...but these are mixed nuts.

* I can't tell you the amount of times in a day that I have to ask people what they just said...simply because I've wandered off to a far away place and have stopped listening. I know it's rude. I know. But I just can't help it! And I normally do this to my very understanding, sweet, patient husband. I don't know how he deals with me on a daily basis.

All I can say at this point is that hopefully my normal rational mind returns once Jayna is born. Even if only half returns I'll be happy because this is just craziness...

35 Weex

2008-08-05T11:05:00.003-04:00

There is no 35 weex picture. Yes...I'm horrible. Maybe I'll have Chris take one tonight. Maybe. That's how I feel. Maybe everything. Maybe I'll eat dinner. Maybe I'll shower. Maybe I'll go to work. Nothing is certain right now. I feel like Jayna could decide to make an appearance anyday now and I can't do anything about it. And I'm sooo not prepared. So...maybe I'll do things and maybe I won't.

I had my 35 weex appointment last Tuesday. I was supposed to have an exam that day, but doc said that since everything was fine that we'd make the appointments every week now and do the exam at 36 weex. So, this Thursday I have my 36 weex appointment which will definitely involve an exam. Yuck, I think. I hear it's just one big ball of uncomfortable.

I do atleast one thing off of my list every other day. They are small things, like rearrange under the bathroom sink. That took me all of 10 minutes. But I still feel like I don't get anything done. Jayna's room is a wreck. There are things in there that don't belong. I ALREADY can't seem to keep it clutter-free. When I get one pile of things dealt with then there's another pile. I feel like I should be doing something off the list everyday, but that's just crazy talk. I get tired and worn out enough as it is.

On Saturday, I finally broke down and cried...and cried and cried and cried. Once it started, it wouldn't stop. I was feeling great until around dinner and I then realized that I may or may not have overdone it for the day. My body was so worn out and no way I sat or laid was comfortable. I ate dinner and that just made things worse as far as being uncomfortable. I was swollen up like a blimp and things were just horrible. I went to take a shower and as I was taking off my pants, I tripped and fell into our bed. And then it started. I got so frustrated that I just started crying. I can't even take off my pants properly at this point. And then everything else that's been difficult came to the front of my mind and added fuel to the breakdown fire. Chris came and tried to comfort me. He was being so very sweet. But I just couldn't stop. He then promptly left to get my best friends...Ben & Jerry.

I took a shower and ate some ice cream and things began to look a little better. This part of pregnancy is definitely the most difficult part. Morning sickness has NOTHING on end-of-third-trimester junk. My only solace is knowing that this will soon be over and Jayna will be here. And then a whole new set of obstacles will ensue...

The Third Trimester Yucks

2008-08-01T11:40:00.004-04:00

So, lately I haven't been having a very easy time. Things are more difficult now. I am slightly more emotional now. I am less than slightly more giant now. Everyday tasks are difficult. I have a hard time even putting on my pants! I can't reach my feet while sitting down. I can't find a single comfortable position to sleep. I can't stand up for long periods of time. The heat KILLS me. The swelling in my feet is out of control...I've been told that nothing is wrong, I'm just swelling because of being pregnant and the heat and that there are limited things I can do about the swelling anyway. I get very winded when I exert any sort of energy. Yesterday I carried a load of laundry (not heavy) from our laundry closet to our bed which is about 15 feet away and I was out of breath.

Here's a picture of my huge-mongous feet...

Why does anyone have more than one child? Don't get me wrong...there have been WAY more good things about pregnancy than bad things, but this third trimester business is just insane!! I've been told that I will forget all of the bad things once Jayna is here and I'll focus on the good things. I guess I'll just have to trust that that is true for now because I can't see that happening at this point.

Tuesday was possibly the WORST day of my pregnancy yet. I spent ALL morning fighting back tears for absolutely no other reason than the fact that I was uncomfortable and exhausted. I just wanted to throw myself on the floor and throw an old-school 2-year-old tantrum. I didn't, but I wanted to. All afternoon was spent worrying about a doctor's appointment that ended up being fine. All evening was more of being uncomfortable and not being able to sleep.

Yesterday I had a slight freak out moment when I looked at my calendar and realized that I only have 3 weekends, 4 at best, before my due date...and I still have a list of things to do/buy a mile long before that happens. I made an actual written list of things that need to be done and bought so that I can see the big picture. It really eased my mind to see it all on paper. It is a little more manageable now that it all isn't just jumbled up in my head. All of the things to do are fairly simple and will require little effort on my part...and Chris will help me or just do it for me. He is the most wonderful husband ever. I've never known someone with so much patience...let's hope that lasts!

I am very ready for Jayna to be here...but I'm so not ready for Jayna to be here. How's THAT for a contradiction?! I'm ready to be done with the pregnancy, but not mentally or physically prepared to have a baby. Here's to hoping I'm cut out for this...

Better Late Than Never

2008-08-01T11:28:00.003-04:00

On July 19th, I had my baby shower. I know, I know...that was 2 weex ago! I haven't really felt like blogging for the past few weex. I've been busy getting things together, busy with a million appointments, and very very tired and exhausted. I can definitely tell that I'm getting close to delivering...I'm uncomfortable as hell and I'm ready for this part to be over!!

Anyhoozy, the baby shower was great!! I got to see some friends that I rarely see because we are all so busy or because we live far away from one another. I enjoyed everyone's company and the munchy food and the cupcakes...and all of the awesome gifts!! I got the travel system from my mom along with some other miscellaneous things. Chris' mom got us the high chair and the cutest little stuffed rattle dog. I got lots and lots of onesies and socks and lotions and soaps and such...all things I'll use. And I got the most awesome diaper cake from Kelly, the girl who does my hair!! I think it's the cutest diaper cake I've ever seen!! It's still assembled and on Jayna's dresser. I'll be sad the day I begin taking it apart, but happy to have all those diapers that I won't have to go out and buy!!

I've washed and gone through everything and have some things to exchange or return. I registered RIGHT after I learned that I was having a girl. I sort of wish I would've waited until a few weeks after that...when I learned alot of things about what to use/register for. There are things on my registry that I don't remember putting on there. I'm sure I did, but now that I have it, I know that I won't ever use it.

I am so very grateful to all the people who came and brought gifts and took time out of their lives to come celebrate with me. I have yet to write my thank you notes!! I'm slow! They are made and waiting for me to write in them, but I just haven't had the energy to begin! I hope to have it done by the end of the weekend. Thanks, everyone!!

Say Cheese!!

2008-07-28T11:15:00.003-04:00

On Friday, July 18th, I had my maternity photo shoot. It was fun! A friend from high school owns a photography studio, so we even knew our photographer...which made things move a little more slowly (with all the chit-chat), but it made me more comfortable. And I was very sore the next day from all of the sitting down and getting up and contorting into different poses. When I saw the pictures, I decided that it was all worth it!

After all of the pics were taken, Chris and I got to see them all and decide if there were some that we loved or hated. I'm telling you, I look HUGE from some angles!! I know that I'm pregnant and, well, big, but some of the pictures just made me look gigantic! There are so many that I loved...I know I'll have a difficult time choosing. There are some of Chris and I that are just so sweet that they bring a tear to the eye. I can't wait to get the proofs! Thanks, Nikki!

Pregnancy Woe of the Century

2008-07-23T16:20:00.003-04:00

This is such a disappointment that it has made me cry a few times already. What a difficult decision I've had to make. I'll be missing these guys tonight...

The Foo Fighters are quite possibly my all-time favorite band. They haven't been to my city in almost 10 years. They will not be touring for awhile after this tour is over. And I really need to stay home.

I bought these tickets MONTHS ago. I knew that it would be a long shot that I'd be able to go at 34 weex pregnant, but I was wishing...wishing upon a star that I'd feel up to going. And I don't. If I even made it to the show, I wouldn't make it all the way through, what with my anxiety in crowds, my sore, swollen feet, and my conscience that tells me that I shouldn't be in an enclosed area with enough second-hand smoke (tobacco and pot) to kill a horse. I am sooo very uncomfortable at this point that I'm not even at ease on my own couch, let alone in a crowd of 50,000 plus people.

You may be saying to yourself, "But it's JUST a concert." No, no it isn't. Not to me. I LOVE music...especially live music. And especially the Foo Fighters. Dave Grohl is my hero! I went to see Jack Johnson at around 28 weex pregnant. That was an outdoor show and I weighed about 8 pounds less. My ankles weren't swelling then. And I could move around a lot easier. I HATE that I have to miss this.

I am in mourning right now...I'm handling it by eating an entire bag of M&M's. And I don't feel any better...

33 Weex

2008-07-23T16:18:00.001-04:00

I know, I know. It's actually 34 weex...but I've been busy! These past few weex have proven to be more difficult than other weex. I've been to the hospital once now. I was having some pretty heavy pressure in my lower abdomen and Braxton-Hicks contractions. I called the doctor's office, but both doctors were out at deliveries. I was told by one of the doctors to go the hospital (where she was) and they'd do some testing and monitoring from there. And,of course, when I got there, everything came to a screeching halt. All of the pressure and contractions disappeared. I was sent home an hour later only to be told that I need to take it easy and drink about a gallon of water a day. Oh, and try to stay cool. The hot weather really has an effect on pregnant people.

I am swelling up very badly now. Mostly in my feet. It really looks pretty funny. My toes look like little sausages. I've been putting cold compresses on them in the evening for about 20 minutes and that seems to help. It doesn't really hurt, but it is a little uncomfortable.

My hands hurt like hell all the time. I've been told that it's carpal tunnel caused by pregnancy and that it will go away a few months after Jayna's born. It's really difficult to type now. I can't even staple things or open soda cans. It's very frustrating and painful.

Oh, and guess what?! I now have stretch marks on my belly. Only 3, but still. I'm so very unhappy about that...especially knowing that I have about 6 weex to go. How many will there be by the time I deliver??

I went to the doctor last week for my appointment that was really supposed to be 32 weex, and everything is fine. We talked mainly about my birth plan and how I shouldn't be upset with myself if I end up having drugs instead of doing natural labor. She just wants me to be as informed as possible...and that can't be anything but good!! Jayna's heart rate was 160 BPM and she moved like a wild child while I was being examined. My next appointment is at 35 weex and then I start once a week appointments. It's getting close!!!

Jayna is a mover and a shaker. She moves all the time and she let's everyone know she's in there! It seriously looks like an alien is going to pop out of there at any time. I even saw her footprint through my skin last weekend. It was very cool and very freaky all at the same time!! She's really showing off her personality...even from in the womb!

I am now to the point that I'm ready for her to be here instead of in there. Atleast I think I'm ready. I just know that I don't think I can get much more uncomfortable...but I have 6 weex left!! Who knows what new things will be happening to me by then!!

Here are some pictures. There is no buddha belly picture because I was wearing a dress. Trust me, you don't want me lifting my dress right now!!

33 Weex

33 Weex again

The 33 Weex sexy pose...if that's even possible! :)

4D Ultrasound

2008-07-23T15:22:00.001-04:00

On July 8th, I had a 4D ultrasound. It was such a fun experience! I was unaware of how well I'd be able to see her and what she actually looks like. And even though she slept the whole time and didn't move alot, it was still a very touching experience. It made all of these pregnancy woes seem so much more worth it!!

With the package I chose, I got a 3o minute DVD of the ultrasound and about 40 pictures of Jayna. The DVD has lullabies playing during the ultrasound. One of the songs is "What a Wonderful World." I was very touched by that as that was the song that Chris and I danced to at our wedding reception. That song has since held a special place in my heart and I tear up a little everytime I hear it...and more now that my hormones are raging!

And here are some pictures of Ms. Jayna Madison:

Ms. Sleepyhead

Showing us her arm and hand

And a HUGE yawn!!

Isn't she just beautiful!?!

An In-Between Post

2008-07-15T11:19:00.004-04:00

My 32 weex appointment is today even though I am just one day short of 33 weex. This is the reason for my non-updating. I just decided to wait until the doctor visit to update...but I need some blog therapy TODAY!!

Things in the W household are going well. We have our new windows now that will be installed in the next couple of weeks. Our maternity pictures are on Friday. The baby shower is on Saturday. The art project for Miss Jayna's room is about one third complete. The glider is on it's way. The rug will be here today. Geez...things are really happening!! It's so nice to see things coming together so well! We may have gotten a slow start, but things are picking up now.

Tonight's plan is to work on a thank you note design and an announcement design. Yes, all thank you's and announcements will be handmade. Am I crazy? I think you all know the answer to that by now! I have taken advantage of the free labor of my mom and my sister-in-law who both so graciously accepted my offer to help make all of this handmade stuff...for free!! Yes, they are both helping for free. And I couldn't be more thankful for them. They have both made things a little easier on me through all of this. And I can't forget Aunt Mary! She's having my shower at her place and is doing all sorts of things to make it nice for me. Thanks, ladies!!

So, I only have 7 weex left...and that's if I make it that long!! I'm getting excited and nervous now. I'll be meeting with the doula and the pediatrician in the next couple of weeks, so those things will help put my mind at ease...a little. I also have breastfeeding class on August 7th. That should be interesting. I'm in the home stretch now! Eight months ago, I never thought I'd make it to here...

30 Weex

2008-07-02T11:30:00.000-04:00

I know, I know. It's 31 weex. But I've been busy and my 30 weex appointment that was scheduled for last Friday was rescheduled for yesterday. So there wouldn't really have been any news until today anyway!!

Things have been CRAZY!! We've been doing things to the house every weekend. I've been making papercrafts to sell. I've had what seems like a million appointments and I have even more coming up (some of them are for hair and nails and such, but they're still appointments. Even huge pregnant ladies need to look pretty!). I've been to 5 sessions of Childbirth classes now. GEEZ!! No wonder I'm tired!

My appointment went...well. Last Friday, I had a bout of decently strong BH contractions. For a 4 hour period in the evening, I had 5 contractions per hour. They didn't hurt. They weren't timeable...as in one every 12 minutes or anything. Very sporadic, but still too many in my mind. They weren't getting "longer, stronger and closer together," so I put up my feet and drank enough water to...something. (my pre-pregnancy brain would've put a KILLER analogy in there, but I just can't do it now...). I also noticed that Jayna was moving like a crazy baby and that she seemed to have dropped significantly. By Saturday morning, I was fine. BUT...I vowed to myself that I would tell the doctor to see what she thought. And I did tell her. She told me that, yes, that was too many contractions. No, I wasn't in any danger of having the baby. But I need to stay hydrated, "take it easy," and relax about things. (Sure, easy for her to say!! She's not having a baby in 2 months!!)

My weight is still good. My blood pressure is GREAT! I'm measuring good. Jayna's heartbeat kicks ASS!! I've been told twice now that it's one of the loudest the doc has heard. Jayna did show off for the doctor and kick and wiggle a little bit. And after the doc saw Jayna move around for a bit and then checked her heartbeat on doppler, she said the best thing that I could have ever heard a doctor say..."Man, that's a happy baby!! She is just so content!" What more could a mom-to-be ask for?

Jayna's head is way down. I'm still in no danger of preterm labor at this point, but Jayna is in position to be born...a very GOOD position to be born. You can't really tell in the pictures because of my clothes, but my belly dropped down significantly over the weekend. I now have some space between my boobs and my belly!! There for awhile they we close friends. :)

We had our natural labor class last night. It was such a wonderful class!! I'm so glad that I signed up for it and it was definitely worth the 40 minute drive! The information presented was OUTSTANDING. The doula/nurse who taught it was just the nicest lady ever. I now have a list of approximately 10 reasons why *trying* to have a baby naturally is better. Even the doula agrees that there is a time and a place for an epidural...but atleast giving natural a try is worth it for the benefits and decreased risks to mom and baby. I encourage all pregnant women to attend a GOOD natural labor class if just for the information (as well as a regular childbirth prep class). It is always good to make an informed decision.

I am still feeling well. My feet and hands have begun swelling now...especially on the 90 degree, 100 percent humidity days. I spend alot of time with my feet up on a stool when I'm sitting. I can no longer wear my wedding rings. I do get hot and VERY uncomfortable very quickly now. I have a more difficult time sleeping. I can only sleep for about 2 hours before I wake up and think I'm going to pee on myself if I don't go to the bathroom. And this baby moves sooo much. I'm not sure that she ever sleeps...is that good or bad??

And here's me...

30 weex

30 weex again

30 weex buddha belly

30 weex funny face

28 weex pics...

2008-06-30T16:18:00.002-04:00

...are now in the 28 weex post below...

The Last Double-Digit Week

2008-06-25T11:34:00.003-04:00

So, here's the story:

I went to Panera yesterday to get dinner for my friend Laura and I. After I had ordered and paid, the cashier guy asked me, "So, how much longer do you have until you have your baby?" I responded, "Tomorrow will be exactly 10 weeks until my due date." And, you know what he said? He said, "How cool, then the week after that you'll be down to single-digit weeks!!"

I froze.

I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I couldn't respond in any way. I must have looked like a deer in headlights.

He then said, "Oh my gosh, I'm sooo sorry!! You didn't realize that, did you? I didn't mean to freak you out! I'm so sorry!"

No, Mr. Cashier Man. I didn't realize that. But thank you for pointing it out. And that isn't a sarcastic statement. Truly, thank you. I need to start thinking of this pregnancy a little more seriously...a little more, should we say, immediate. I need to get my bag ready for the hospital. I need to choose a pediatrician. I need to pay for my doula services. I need a car seat. Holy shit. NOW is the time to panic!!!

When I left Panera, I went to see my friend Laura and her almost-five-week-old baby. This left me a little more panicked than I had thought it would. I think the realization that I'd be in Laura's shoes in just 10 (or less) short weeks got to me. Can I do it? Will I be good at it? There are so many things to get done and buy and think about...again...NOW is the time to panic!!!

I am now VERY nervous about my natural childbirth class next week. I think that may have something to do with the topics of discussion at last week's childbirth prep class. We learned about all of the things that could possibly go wrong. And there are so many things that could go wrong. I know it's just "could," but it's still a little frightening. Can I have a baby naturally? Am I cut out for this? Up until now, I've thought, "Hey, people in other countries have babies with no pain management ALL THE TIME. I'll just pretend like I have no pain management options." Yeah...no. I can't do that now. I've learned about my pain management options and I can no longer pretend they aren't there.

So, I will repeat...NOW IS THE TIME TO PANIC!! What have we done?!? We are sooo not prepared for this. A woman I worked with awhile back once told me that if you wait to have kids until you're prepared, you'll never have kids. That has become my mantra. I repeat that in my head over and over again when I have freak-out moments such as this one. I just hope she is right...

28 Weex

2008-06-17T11:12:00.003-04:00

I feel lazy. For not blogging. But those of you who know me in real life know that I've been anything but lazy these past few weeks!! So many things have happened and gotten finished in the last two or three weeks that it's making the time fly by much faster!!

So, 28 weex is proving to be arguably the best part of the pregnancy. I am WAY less tired...even though I have less energy to do things. I feel better. I'm eating pretty well. I still feel good. I'm soooo excited at this point. Jayna's room is coming together nicely. She is already accumulating her own things. And she's moving around in such a way that it looks like an alien will jump out of my belly at any moment! It's really amazing to watch her move around from the outside.

My 28 weex appointment was last Friday. Chris couldn't go, so my mom went with me. I enjoyed the company as we ended up being at the office for a little over 2 hours. I had to drink Glucola, which wasn't bad at all, and have lots of blood drawn. We heard Jayna's heartbeat and were told that it's VERY strong! Yay-I have a healthy baby!!! Other than all of the fuss over drawing my blood exactly one hour after I drank the Glucola it was a pretty uneventful appointment. My blood pressure is great and my weight is normal. I've gained about 16 pounds. And no, I don't care if you all know.

The fact that I will be responsible for another human in just around 11 more weex is overwhelming. It gets a little more real everyday. I have no doubts that I'll be able to handle it, but it does seem crazy. The days go by so quickly now and I feel that I can't get enough done in one day no matter how hard I try. I'm sure that feeling will only multiply as the due date gets closer and even after I have her.

And here are pics of me by the furniture. I think I look HUGE in these, by the way...

28 weex and the infamous crib...

28 weex and the hassle-free dresser

...and the 28 weex buddha belly.

I'm a big fat liar.

2008-06-11T11:21:00.002-04:00

So, there are no 27 weex pictures. I lied. But, in my defense, this past weekend was the weekend from HELL!! That being said, I will have 28 weex pictures by the end of the weekend.

Friday night it began to storm. Bad. And alot. I live right on the line between two counties. I live just north of one county that got 9 inches of rain in about 12 hours. Yes, 9 inches!! The county that I live in got less than that, but still enough to flood soooo many roads, creeks, rivers, fields, retention ponds, houses. There was a house about 1 mile from my house that flooded past the windows. It is a ranch-style house and the water was up past the windows of the house.

My house did not flood. My backyard had a small pond in it for a few hours, but it quickly receded when the rain stopped at about 1pm. Chris and I tried to leave our house around noon on Saturday only to realize that every road that could take us in any direction was flooded. The only thing accessible to us was one gas station. This lasted until around 5pm on Saturday. At around 6pm, we found one way out and took advantage of it!! But only to get some Mexican food and to go to the grocery.

If anything, this has put things into perspective for me. My dog Oliver is deathly afraid of storms. I slept for approximately 3 hours from Friday morning to Saturday afternoon. The dog is a nut!! He won't lie down. He won't go hide. He won't let you hold him. He won't do anything accept pant, drool and paw at you. I woke up at one point in time on the couch at about 5:30am with a paw on my face. Yes, on my face. I opened my other eye only to see Oliver standing there wagging his tail, panting, drooling, with his paw on my face! I was in a miserable mood for most of the day. I bitched constantly about him keeping a 7-month pregnant person awake all night and about the fact that the storming JUST WOULDN'T STOP!! And then we left the house. And I saw people's houses under 3 or more feet of water. And then my situation seemed minute, tiny, on the verge of non-existent. I COULD have been awake all night because I was trying desperately to save my belongings from rising water. Seeing all of the damage definitely made me think about things.

And what if I was 9 months pregnant and flooded in? What if I couldn't get to the hospital? Somehow that became a huge concern for me on Saturday. I have no idea why. I'm not even close to delivering this baby. Pregnancy brain sure does a number on you. You forget things you need to remember, remember things you thought you forgot, worry about things that will most likely never happen and lose the ability to make any type of rational decision. What a great experience...this pregnancy...

The handle...

2008-06-06T11:09:00.004-04:00

...that I had on things at 24 weex has officially broken. And now I'm sitting here waiting for my 2-part epoxy to dry so my handle will again function the way it should.

Unfortunately, 26 weex pictures are non-existent. And boy, are there reasons for that!! I normally would've taken them on Friday or Saturday of last week, but I was mega-busy both days. I went to the zoo on Friday during the day. It was fun, but hectic...and I swelled up like the marshmallow man. Good times. Friday night was spent moving furniture (not me!!) and packing things. Saturday our new carpet was installed which meant that my house was demolished. I spent the better part of Saturday afternoon unpacking things and such. So what I'm saying is that pictures of an irritated, hot and swollen pregnant me were the last thing on my mind last week. I will take pictures today or tomorrow to replace 26 weex...it'll just be 27 weex.

Beginning sometime Sunday afternoon, I acquired flu-like symptoms that persisted until Wednesday morning. Chris has it too. And he STILL has it. He's headed to a week of stomach flu junk. A week!! He seems to be getting better, but very slowly. This bug KICKED MY ASS!! I came to work Monday morning and went home half day. I missed all of Tuesday. And I slept almost that whole time from Monday afternoon until Tuesday evening. I left my house once for popsicles, soup and cheerios. I didn't even feel like taking a shower!! I did shower, but I didn't enjoy it like I usually do when I'm sick. I just felt like death.

And since Chris and I were both sick, all of the stuff that we had to pack to get the carpet installed STILL isn't all the way unpacked. And it's ALL piled in Jayna's room. And we can't work on Jayna's room until all the shit is out of there. I am DYING to assemble the furniture, but I've banned myself from doing that until the walls are sanded and painted. No need to have to work around furniture if we don't have to.

My friend Tiffany got married last Saturday!! And since I know she'll eventually read this, CONGRATS, TIFF!! I'm sorry I couldn't be there, but things were a mess. I still have your bridal shower gift AND your wedding gift to mail. I promise I'll do it soon. Please understand about the pregnancy brain. It's horrible.

26 Weex

2008-05-28T11:14:00.003-04:00

...and 28 years old!! Yes, folks. Today I turned 28. That is only 2 years away from 30. Oh dear.

The past few weeks have been hectic. Here's a rundown and details:

* First of all, the crib will be at my house today. Wonderful birthday gift, don't you think? Fedex tracking says it is out for delivery at this very moment and will be at my house by the end of the work day. And it BETTER be there...

* A couple of weekends ago, I was faced with what was *almost* a UTI. I didn't have any pain, so no antibiotics. I drank LOTS of water and cranberry juice and it went away. But the last thing you want to see when you're pregnant is blood. Yikes!! I'm glad everything's okay!!

* A few days after all of the UTI business, I woke up in the middle of the night with worse-than-mild-but-not-what-I-would-call-severe lower abdominal pain. Talked to doctor and she said since there was no bleeding to take it easy...I probably strained some muscles. I was on restricted activity for a few days. All of that seems to have worked itself out. Yay!!

* My good friend Laura delivered a beautiful baby girl last Thursday. And, let me tell you, she has one of the most beautiful babies I've ever seen!! I'm so happy for her and her husband. They will be great parents...and now I've gotten a second-hand look at how my life will be in just a few short months. I get more excited to have this baby everyday!!

* My good friend Holly lost her beloved dog on Saturday. He was battling cancer and they couldn't keep up with the tumors. I know how this feels and I really feel for her. I'm sad and angry, but happy that Snoop is in a better place...no pain and LOTS of fire hydrants to pee on and big toilets to drink out of!! She and her family are in my thoughts alot lately.

* Our new carpet is scheduled to be installed on Saturday...which means we basically have to pack almost everything and move out! We sure do have alot of shit!! This isn't such a big deal except that I have things that I could be doing IF my furniture were staying in place. We've already begun moving things to the garage. Which means no scrapbooking or anything for me.

* Tomorrow I get my permanent crown put on my root canaled tooth. Yay for paying dentists WAY TOO MUCH MONEY!! (can ya sense the sarcasm there??)

* For the past 2 nights I've slept very well with minimal hip pain. This is really the highlight of the 26 weex post. My hips hurt so bad all the time...and I've now had 2 days with hardly NO PAIN!! Hopefully this lasts a little longer so I can enjoy it!

Busy, busy, busy!! Lots of stuff to write about in just a 2 week span! And now for things about the actual pregnancy:

Little Miss Jayna is happy as a clam!! She moves around ALOT and now responds to touch. If I put my hand on my belly and apply just the slightest amount of pressure, she kicks me. It's AWESOME!! She has also responded to Chris' touch and my mom's touch. She also responds to music. It's like she's having a dance party in there!!

For now, most of my fears about labor have subsided. Hey, I said for NOW. I'm sure they will return as the due date gets closer. I only find solace in the fact that there isn't a THING I can do to prevent it when it happens and that people do it all the time and survive. I'm just soooo excited and impatient about meeting her that I want it to be over with...especially since I've now met another precious newborn baby girl!!

It's 11:25am...

2008-05-23T11:21:00.004-04:00

...on Friday, May 23, 2008.

And I KNOW where my crib is!!!

I know, can you even believe it?

I went to the JCP website last night to get some info so I could call them. Well, I found "updated" shipping info (and by updated, I mean totally brand new with no notice given to me that it would ever be there) and tracked it.

Where is it?? It's in City of Industry, CA. Cali-freakin'-fornia!! Something that was supposed to be on my doorstep on May 19th is in California. The estimated delivery date is May 27th. Did they account for Memorial Day? Probably not. So...I may get a crib for my birthday. Yay.

It's 4:30pm...

2008-05-22T16:33:00.003-04:00

...on Thursday, May 22, 2008.

Do YOU know where MY crib is?

Yeah, me neither.

The last we heard, it would have been on our doorstep (not to the warehouse or in transit...ON OUR DOORSTEP) by Monday, May 19, 2008. Oy vey. Who waits 2 effin' months for a crib? Me, I guess.

22 & 24 Weex Pictures

2008-05-19T16:41:00.005-04:00

Yeah...so here are the 22 and 24 Weex pictures FINALLY!!

22 Weex

22 Weex...again

The 22 Weex Buddha Belly

And the 22 Weex Funny Face

These next ones...the 24 Weex (6 months) pictures...crack me up. Mainly because I got GINORMOUS in just a couple of weeks!!

24 Weex

The 24 Weex Shelf

The 24 Weex Buddha Belly

24 Weex & The Amazing Disappearing Belly Button!

24 Weex

2008-05-16T10:59:00.004-04:00

This week has marked a new milestone...Jayna now kicks me 24 hours a day. I am now 6 months pregnant and over half done with the pregnancy. And I actually seem to have a handle on things now...let's just hope that handle doesn't break off.

I went to my 24 week appointment yesterday and everything is wonderful! The doctor told me that the baby is fine. Her heartbeat is strong and all of that moving she is doing is a good sign (and to think that I was actually concerned that she was moving TOO MUCH!). I was told that there is no such thing as a baby moving too much, just not enough.

I talked with the doctor briefly about childbirth classes. When I told her that I was already registered for 3 different classes, she was very surprised. Apparently I am ahead of the game there. Most women don't even register until 6 months and I start my first class next month! I was even able to give my doctor some information on the Natural Childbirth class that I signed up for. She was unaware that it existed or how to register for it. She also told me that if I am considering natural labor that I should think about the doula service. When I told her that I had pretty much made up my mind that I'd have a doula, she was proud. Apparently not alot of women even attempt natural labor or use the doula/midwife services to their advantage.

Overall, I was proud of myself when we left. The doctor instilled in me some confidence that I was definitely lacking. I've been feeling like a failure as a pregnant lady...like I don't know what I'm doing. As Leslie Nielson would say in one of the Naked Gun movies, "Like a blind man in an orgy, I'm going to have to feel my way through this one." Well, now I don't feel so blind. Just a little blurry...okay, and a little perverted that I used the word "orgy" in a post about my unborn child.

So, Jayna is a happy, healthy and active baby at 24 weex. I will use all of my hoping and wishing and karmic energy to make things stay that way. I get a little more attached to her everyday. I feel that I'm getting to know her, even her personality, through all of her movements. According to what I've made up in my head, she's already a happy and funny little girl. What a wonderful sense of humor my unborn child has! She certainly has some spunk! How could she not with lunatic parents such as Chris and I?!?

I very often make decisions in my life and after the decisions are made and irreversible, I have a small window of quasi-regret. It doesn't matter what the decision is...buying a house or deciding on a flavor of ice cream. It passes fairly quickly depending on the decision, and I'm happy with my decision 9 times out of 10. The decision to have a child is one decision that I haven't had the quasi-regret feeling about. Sure, it sucked when I was sick as a damn dog, but I've still never regretted my decision for even a second. I have said a few times, "What have we done?", but it's very much of a joke! I know what we've done: we've made one hell of a good decision.

A Crazy Thirst for Knowledge

2008-05-13T11:10:00.002-04:00

...that is sometimes detrimental. Did you know that there is a such thing as being too informed? Atleast I think there is. I am notorious for taking days, weeks, even months sometimes, to make a decision...because I want all of the information I can get on the subject at hand so that my decision can be an informed one. When I do not do my research, I end up with shiny red expensive apples that taste the same as the non-shiny cheap ones.

BUT...the flipside of that is the fact that I sometimes gather TOO much information and then lose all ability to make a decision. And then husband has to do that for me. Which sucks. Not that he's bad at making decisions, just that I can't stop splitting hairs and get the job done. I guess this may be one of my biggest character flaws.

That being said, today I signed up for our last childbirth class...Natural Childbirth. Now we are registered for three classes: Childbirth Prep, Natural Childbirth, and Breastfeeding Basics. To me, that isn't alot. There are actually more classes that I want to take, but I don't want to pay for them. Like Newborn and Infant Care Basics. But I think I'll then be getting into the "too much information" territory.

I had to sign up for the Natural Childbirth class through the hospital's doula service. I thought this was strange, but I found out that this is done for 2 main reasons: 1. Hardly noone takes the class, so it's free. and 2. They hope you will use their services after taking the class. Now, I was not pressured into using doula services. The very helpful woman was okay with me just taking the class. She asked me if I had thought of using doula services and if I wanted some information on how all that works. I have thought of this and she gave me a very brief overview of the cost and how the program works. And I'm now leaning toward the services.

I feel that it couldn't be a bad thing for a supportive person who helps pregnant women for a living to help me be informed about a birthing plan and how to put that plan into action and/or revise it at the last minute. I ALWAYS need a plan even if I don't always follow it. I do trust in my ability to make decisions and I trust Chris to make decisions for me...but we've never done this before. I do realize that many, many women give birth without the help of an outside source and live to tell about it. But not all of those women are crazy plan-needers like me.

And that paragraph that you all just read is exactly the reason that too much information can be detrimental...and a classic example of why I am crazy. Having a doula can only make this experience more positive. This is my decision to make...can I do it? The hair-splitting stops now.

Yes, I'm a slacker. But I have a good reason...

2008-05-12T11:12:00.004-04:00

I haven't yet posted the 22 weex pictures (I'll post them with the 24 weex stuff). It's been a rough couple of weeks for me. You all had the pleasure of reading about week 22...and week 23 didn't turn out much better.

I awoke last Monday night (5/5) with a toothache that kept me awake ALL night. I got maybe 2 hours of sleep. I promptly called the dentist on Tuesday morning and had an appointment for Wednesday at 1:45pm. I ended up with a small cavity in one of my molars that needed a filling...but the decay "went straight to the root of my tooth," so I could possibly need a root canal. The dentist attempted to fill the cavity, but to no avail. I had a root canal scheduled for Thursday at 2pm.

The 24 hours from Wednesday's appointment to Thursday's appointment may have been the worst 24 hours of my life. I can only think of maybe 2 times in my life that I've just broken down and sobbed uncontrollably because of pain. I can now think of a third. When the anesthesia wore off on Wednesday, I was in excruciating pain. I cried and cried and cried. I could only take Tylenol. It didn't help. And this pain lasted until almost up to my appointment on Thursday.

I am not afraid of dentists. I am not afraid of needles. I am not afraid of doctors in general. I was scared to death over what all of the x-rays, anesthesia and, most of all, stress was doing to little Jayna. She moved maybe one time between Wednesday and Thursday. I'm sure it was a coincidence because she's gone longer than that without moving much before. But in my "mom" mind, it was because I wasn't properly taking care of her. In my mind, she was in some sort of distress.

After the root canal was over and all of the pain was gone (which, THANKFULLY, was right after the root canal), I reevaluated things and came to the conclusion that she was okay. And I'm okay. Everything's okay now. But what a horrible experience...especially when you have to think of someone other than yourself.

My question to myself is this...if I can't even endure a toothache for 24 hours, how in the hell do I plan on having a natural birth? I guess we'll see...

@*#^%$@#$**

2008-05-06T11:17:00.004-04:00

(Edited to add: Chris finally got an answer!! The crib will be in our possession by May 19th. Yay!!)

Are there any curse words that long? Well, if there are, I've said them. I think I've said every curse word known to man in the past 24 hours. And, of course, even if you don't want to know, I'm going to tell you.

The crib. Oh....the crib. Here's the rundown on the situation thusfar:

* Crib ordered on 3/31/08
* Crib estimated shipping dated was 4/14/08.
* Allowance for shipping was 4-7 days.
* That would've put the crib at our house early last week.
* No crib as of 5/5/08.

So...Chris called yesterday...TWICE. He called right before lunch. The woman put Chris on hold and called the supplier. She got the answering service. They were going to contact the supplier (the crib was a supplier-shipped item) and find out if it had been shipped or whatever and they were going to CALL US BACK. By 4:45pm, no call back. So, Chris called again. He talked to a different woman who seemed so very shocked that we were not in receipt of our crib. She said that she would try and call, but she didn't think that she'd be able to reach anyone because of the time. Well...if you can't reach anyone at lunchtime OR at 4:45pm, when can you reach them?? Just give ME the effin' number and you can bet that I'll reach them. I'm not sure if the JCP people are factoring in a different timezone for the supplier. Stupids.

I checked the JCP website this morning to see if the crib we ordered is still available. And it is NOT. I will be beyond pissed if it's been discontinued and I haven't been informed. I will, out of principle, return ALL of the furniture that has already been delivered to me for 100% refund and buy elsewhere. This, my friends, is bullshit. And I'm just about done.

22 Weex II: The Good

2008-05-01T11:07:00.003-04:00

Not that it would have taken much, but today has been a MUCH better day! Morgan got up and went outside this morning, all of my dishes were clean and I just felt better. I realized after I wrote my entry yesterday that I just really need to focus on the GOOD things and the things that I DO remember. That way the bad things won't seem as huge.

Here are some GOOD things that have happened and some things I've actually remembered in the past few days:

* Jayna is moving around like a wild child. She sure is a wiggler. And she loves to stop moving when Chris touches my belly...already playing games with daddy.

* I feel better physically. With the exception of the rib pain, I haven't been having many problems. My back hasn't been hurting as much. I'm sleeping better. My legs seem to have settled down in regards to the RLS. I'm eating regularly and mostly good food. Oh, and no more...um...bathroom issues for now.

* On Tuesday I got my hair cut and colored...by my original hairdresser!! Yes, she's back from selling dumpsters! And she definitely let me know how jacked up my highlights were from the other place I went to. She had to put lots of dark back in my hair. Anyhoozy, she fixed it and I feel like I look like myself again. Yay!

* Also on Tuesday, I sold all of my handmade scrapbook stuff that was for sale. One person bought it ALL!! She's going to sell it in her vintage/gift shop. How neat! And she wants the whole order that I sold her again by the end of May!! It finally looks like I may make some money off of my rather expensive hobby!

* Over the weekend I made a framed page and matching card for my father-in-law's friend's daughter for her first communion. Now, you all know I'm not catholic...or any religion for that matter. I was happy to accept the challenge, but I was apprehensive about doing well because I don't really know about first communions. Well, the gift was given last Sunday and I "knocked it out of the park!!" Everyone loved the gift, especially the girl's mother. Yay!!

* On Sunday Chris and I went to register at Babies R Us. We had fun, but it took almost 4 hours!! Who knew a baby needed that much junk. After picking things out and envisioning what Jayna's room will look like, I've become very excited about getting things done around our house so we can begin putting the room together!! Now if only I had a crib...I guess that's another post since this one is labeled "The Good" and, well, that ain't good.

* I remembered to take our recycling to the bin yesterday. That always makes me feel good. And we only have 2 bags of garbage for the garbage men this week...all because of recycling.

* I remembered to call about Chris' allergy medicine yesterday. And he really needed it. Yay, me!!

* I remembered to research my mother-in-law's gift for her birthday. Her birthday is Saturday and her husband (my father-in-law) decided that it would be a good idea to get her a nice spa package for a day of beauty and relaxation and have everyone pitch in. I found a nice place and I think that it's a wonderful gift. I'm happy to contribute to it! She's stressed lately and needs some peace and quiet for a day. Hell, she's a teacher. She needs LOTS of peace and quiet at this time of year EVERY year!!

Now, how many of those had to do with pregnancy/baby stuff? A few. But these GOOD things have put the BAD things into perspective for me. Like...a WONDERFUL birthday gift for someone I love is WAY more important than a rotten eggplant. Enough said.

22 Weex Part I: The Bad

2008-04-30T17:40:00.004-04:00

Well, 22 weex has proven to be a little more stressful. I am WAY more apprehensive about things...even things that won't happen for 10 or 15 years. I've just recently realized that Jayna will grow up and be an adult someday. And I'm already sad. Oh dear.

I'm having these weird pains in my ribs. I'm sure it's just because my whole midsection is expanding, but these pains take my breath away! It really hurts. I often have to stop what I'm doing and stretch my abdomen. Sometimes it just stays at a dull ache for hours...and that's worse than just getting a pain for a few minutes.

I'm having a difficult time remembering things...and I'm extremely hard on myself for it. Today has been the worst day for me in regards to forgetting things and doing stupid things. I guess this is what they call pregnancy brain. And I hate it. I get upset over something so little and then I get upset with myself because I even let it upset me in the first place. Here is what has gone wrong today and my reactions:

* First thing this morning my dog Morgan REFUSED to get up and go outside. I talked sternly to him. I talked nicely to him. I talked excitedly to him. And then I said #@*% it and left him in his bed. On my way back to the bedroom, he decided he wanted out. And that pissed me off. He's a dog. He doesn't know. But I was still pissed at him. I never yelled, but I wanted to.

* When I let the dogs out this morning I noticed that the patio was wet around the hose and then the water ran down the patio. Well, last night there was a freeze warning . We brought in the plants. About an hour before we brought them in, I watered them and apparently forgot to turn off the hose. And OH SHIT! The water froze and the pipe burst! Well, that was what I thought had happened. Nope. The sprayer just leaked a little. I turned off the hose this morning and sprayed the sprayer and everything was fine. But I almost cried because we already had to replace that pipe once since we lived here. And I thought Chris would be mad. And he wasn't, nor would he have been. But I was sure afraid he'd be mad at me for not paying attention.

* Last night after dinner I loaded the dishwasher and put all sorts of things in there that Chris and I use at work or in the morning (travel coffee mug, Nalgene bottle for water, breakfast dishes for my cereal that I take to work) thinking I'd run it right after I got out of the shower. I forgot. So all of the things we use in the morning were in the dishwasher and were still dirty. I was very angry at myself for that. I'm not used to forgetting this many things. It was no big deal. We just washed the things we needed this morning. But still...how many things can I forget at once??

* I went to Sam's today and bought 6 lbs. of hamburger because it was way cheaper than buying it at the grocery. I came home to divide it into 6 packages and then realized that we have like a 2 inch sliver of aluminum foil. How can I freeze 6 lbs. of hamburger with 2 inches of aluminum foil? DAMMIT!! Yes, I can refrigerate it until tomorrow and buy foil after work and come home and wrap it. But again, still...how many things can I forget at once??

* We're trying to make an annual mother's day event at our house. The first year was last year, so no one really knows to plan on coming here for mother's day. Meaning I have to actually tell people. So I planned this big barbeque for May 10th and then didn't tell who?? Yes, Chris' parents. You know, one of the people who would be honored...HIS MOM?!? Who forgets shit like this? People have to be told things to know them. I should atleast know that by now. So hopefully they haven't yet made plans for that day. I was really upset about this one. I did shed a tear or two. I just really hope they can come.

* I decided I wanted eggplant for dinner. I grabbed the eggplant to chop it up and...it's already bad. I just bought it on Saturday. It's only Wednesday. I hate everything.

So, that's just one day. Hopefully days like today won't happen often. I've been really down on myself for the last few weeks and that is VERY unlike me. I doubt everything I do and every decision I make and I get so upset over things that are so stupid. I'll write Part II: The Good tomorrow. I can't really think of good things right now.

Ultrasound Pictures

2008-04-24T08:50:00.002-04:00

The ultrasound pictures are a couple of posts down. Blogger mixed up my posting dates...

Baby Slapdash

2008-04-23T11:13:00.002-04:00

So, I have a few things on my mind. Some of them seem very important and others sort of trivial. Read at your own risk.

* Yesterday, a bank robbery took place in my city...just down the street from where I went to high school. I live about 15 miles from there now, but I did attend high school about a mile from the bank. A good friend lives less than a mile from where this happened. She has a year-old son. I was very nervous for them. And why, you ask, was I concerned about this particular bank robbery in contrast to all of the other bank robberies that happen in my big city? Because the robber shot, without provocation, a 30-yr. old teller in the lower abdomen who was 5 months pregnant with twins. She let him take whatever he wanted and never resisted. And he still shot her. In her lower abdomen. Where she was carrying two babies. Where the hell are peoples' brains? Why would anyone do this? He got the money. No one stopped him from taking it. And he shot a pregnant woman. And this is why I hate people. And I did cry because of this...in part because of my hormones and in part because I'm not sure what I would have done in that woman's position. I'm not sure what I'd do if my unborn child was in any sort of harm.

* I ordered the crib on 3/31. It was set to ship from the factory on 4/14 and I was to allow 4-7 additional business days for delivery. And here it is, 4/22, and do you think I have a crib? Nope. The baby will be sleeping in one of her dresser drawers, I guess. Oh well. Who really needs a bed for their baby anyway? I suppose I will have to call and yell at someone tomorrow morning...

* Learning the gender of the baby and giving her a name has really driven home the permanence of my situation. You know, the "I'm growing a baby" situation. I can't go back from this. I no longer have a choice. I got a tattoo with no problem. I never had any thoughts about the fact that it's a permanent mark on my body. But I'm JUST NOW realizing that I HAVE to have this baby and raise it. Oh no. What have we done?

And without further adieu...

2008-04-22T16:05:00.007-04:00

...I now introduce Ms. Jayna Madison:

Whole Body

Head and body/Profile of head

Girl Parts/Foot

Isn't she adorable? :)

20 Weex

2008-04-21T18:52:00.008-04:00

The ultrasound and OB appointment both went very well. I do not yet have the ultrasound pics scanned in, so they will not be in this post. Just a warning. I'll get to them tomorrow...or the next day.

I know you're all DYING to know, so...

Now THAT'S a Buddha belly!

The ultrasound was crazy!! The baby kept pushing against the ultrasound camera thingy! She was very wiggly and active. Very fun and exciting to watch. The ultrasound tech showed us all of the vital organs (brain, kidneys, heart, bladder, spine) and pointed out the eye sockets and the femur and such. Her heartbeat during the ultrasound was 167 bpm. It's so very amazing to watch. CRAZY! There's a human inside me!

The OB appointment was short, but very informative. I learned that I've gained 7 pounds since I've gotten pregnant. My blood pressure was great. I'm generally healthy! The baby measured normal and according to the ultrasound, my due date is August 30th. It hasn't actually been changed because it was within a week of my actual due date, but her measurements say August 30th. She is already head down...which isn't a problem now, but it may be later if I begin to have any complications. When the doctor checked her heartbeat through doppler, it had dropped to 152 bpm from 167 bpm during the ultrasound. Doctor says that's attributed to the fact that she didn't seem to care for the ultrasound...what with all of the pushing back and wiggling and such.

She has been kicking me like crazy!! Everytime I try and get her to do it for Chris, she won't. And I'm not even sure that he'd be able to feel it from the outside yet. I can't really tell. She's wiggly and pushes on my bladder alot. Sometimes it seems as if she has her hands on the front of my uterus and her feet on the back and she's trying to streth ALL THE WAY out. Weird.

And here's how I'm looking...

20 weex

20 weex again

The 20 weex funny face

The sideview Buddha Belly

IT'S A GIRL!!!

Oy.

2008-04-16T11:03:00.003-04:00

I am so excited that I can hardly contain myself! Only 26 hours until we know!

Things are getting very real for me now. I am now realizing the extent of what we've done...the physical toll that it will take on my body, the way it will change my relationship with Chris, the fact that we will hardly ever be alone and the fact that we will be responsible for another living thing...a human.

This has been very difficult for me. I have never been one to doubt myself. Sure, I have my days, but they just come and go. For the past week, I've doubted every decision I've made for as long as I can remember and I am doubting that I will be able to make sound, rational decisions in the future. I doubt my ability to be a parent. I doubt my ability to even give birth...which I really don't have a choice about! I'm anxious about everything and I almost cry everyday about it. I do talk to Chris everyday about how I'm feeling and, although he may be tired of hearing about it but will never tell me that, he is so very sweet and concerned. He listens and reassures. He is very helpful. And I love him.

I'm sure this is normal. I don't *know* that, but it seems like something every mother-to-be should go through. I know deep down that things will be okay...but I need to see it to believe it. The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Milan, would say that I need to believe it to see it. I'm sure he's right. A strong belief in myself can be nothing but helpful. I'll get to work on that ASAP.

Naming Survey

2008-04-11T15:07:00.004-04:00

Now...I will inform you all up front. This will be the ONE AND ONLY time that anyone gets to weigh in on the baby's name. No, we do not know the sex of the baby yet. We're a week away from that. This name is NOT written in stone. It only pertains to the baby's name if it is a boy. Here's the deal:

The middle name of a boy will be Gibson...as my dear husband is a Gibson Guitar fanatic. There is no waivering on this. And while I actually like that as a middle name, we still have a problem. Our problem, you ask? What do we pair with it?

We've come up with a few "maybe's" but nothing for sure. I won't be revealing the maybe's. I do sort of have some criteria...and I need your help meeting it. I'm exhausted of asking Chris, "How about....?" and hearing him say, "Absolutely NOT!" before I even get the entire name out. So, it's up to you, blog readers.

We don't want to use Gibson as the first name because it's sort of a mouthful when it's said with our last name. I'm not posting our last name on here. Most readers know it. If you don't and you're a trusted friend who wants to know, send me a comment with your email and I'll let you know. I just don't want our last name posted all over a public blog. I will say that our last name ends in the letters -nd. So, Gibson _____nd sounds funny to me. We need ________ Gibson ______nd. We need a shorter/different sounding first name to go at the beginning. Please, please help...for my sanity and Chris' physical well-being. I will take any and all suggestions at this time, so please all of you lurkers who don't comment...WEIGH IN ON THIS ONE!! If we pick your name, I'll send you a gift, so be sure to identify yourself.

New Feature!!

2008-04-10T14:47:00.005-04:00

So, inspired by one of my favorite blogs, List of the Day, I've added a new feature in the sidebar entitled "Funny Parenting Quote of the Day." This will change daily, so check back everyday!!

Toodles!

A Wonderful Weekend

2008-04-08T11:31:00.002-04:00

This weekend was great!! On Saturday, I went to my good friend Laura's baby shower. It was good to see some people from the past! She got LOTS of presents for her new little girl who will arrive around the end of May. And I got to see all sorts of things that I never knew I needed until now!

Sunday was a day of errands and such. We went to breakfast and then did the grocery shopping. We also went to Sam's Club and found out that we can recycle there! Yes, everything but cardboard. I was very excited about this, as the only reason that I hadn't been recycling was because I didn't know where to take the stuff (except for plastic bags and magazines/newspapers). Now I can recycle almost everything! And hopefully our garbage men will be a little happier too. :)

I woke up Monday morning with a hell of a backache. I'm not sure what I did to cause it. The only thing that I can think that would affect my back would be that I stood up in the kitchen with bare feet for most of the day on Sunday. I cut fruit and vegetables and made tea and such. ALOT of standing with no shoes on. So, yesterday, when it was 70 degrees and beautiful outside, I was stuck sitting on my couch watching bad daytime TV. I seriously looked like Forrest Gump...hands on my knees and all. That was the only comfortable position. No lying down or putting up the recliner. YUCK!!

I continue to get more excited. The baby is now "knocking" to let me know it's in there. It seriously feels like it's just knocking on my uterus as if to say, "Hello? Anyone home?" And it's always in the same place. It's fun! I can't wait to find out if it's he or she!

Updated 18 weex...

2008-04-06T16:38:00.002-04:00

The 18 weex pictures are now in the 18 weex post just a couple below this one...

A Look into the Future

2008-04-04T15:50:00.015-04:00

***eta: It was brought to my attention in a comment that this entry was originally posted by Maddox at www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com. It was never my intention to miscredit the work. And my hat's off to you, Maddox, for your genius!!***

Oh so cruel...but the most hilarious thing I've ever seen!!! I very faithfully read List Of The Day. Cary, who writes the entries, is hilarious! Not all that he writes is G-rated, but it's still so very worth reading. Although he doesn't take full credit for this entry and all of it's commentary (he added some in), it's still sooo funny. I don't know where he comes up with the stuff he posts, but it's genius.

I know some of you refuse to click on links, so I've reposted his entry here, entitled Children's Artwork of the Day, because I feel that all should read it. When I read it and saw the drawings, I was immediately reminded of when I worked with children. Some of them are decent artists while others haven't an artistic bone in their little bodies. And then I thought of when my child is of drawing age. Being the sarcastic and often mean people that we are, what will we say about little bebe's drawings? Whatever it is, I'm sure it won't always be nice.

There is a warning...THIS WILL OFFEND SOME OF YOU. IF YOU DON'T THINK THE FIRST PICTURE IS FUNNY, DON'T CONTINUE TO READ AS IT JUST GETS WORSE. There. You've been forewarned.

________________________
I think this one has been around a while, but it still makes me laugh. From PeggyGator and Gem.

I am better than your kids.

If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels.

These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. Since my skills are superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty of critiquing art work done by other kids on the internet.

(by Megan, Age 4)

WTF is this? A dog or a bedside table? If it's a dog, do you really think a dog with only two legs would be smiling? I can answer that for you: No. Grade: F

(by Kyle, age 8)

You spelled America wrong, asshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. Do you see "yellow" anywhere in "red, white and blue"? No, traitor. Grade: F

(by Lisa, age 6)

Happy Easter, Lisa, and good luck as you continue to recover from that head injury. Grade: D (really an F but on the Head Injury Curve that's a D).

(by Cameron, age 4 )

I once saw a chicken paint a picture by holding a brush in his beak. This picture makes that chicken look like Van Gogh. Grade: F

(by Bryce, age 10)

Have the voices been talking to you again, Bryce? As long as they are saying "Paint creepy-ass pictures," that's fine, but if they start saying "Kill Mommy and Daddy," you should let someone know so we can get you medicated. Grade: F

(by Jon, age 8)

Ding Ding! Here comes the Shitmobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather burn to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. Grade: F

(by Rachel, age 7)

Hey, look, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white, right, Rachel? Or should I call you Racist? Nice try, Hitler. Grade: F

(by Jason, age 6)

Jason was obviously at the zoo yesterday, where he saw monkeys flinging their own feces at the wall, and decided to try it himself. Grade: F

(by Seth, age 4)

What's wrong, Seth, Mommy pulled you off the teat too soon? Car, my ass. Those are boobs. And let's not mention the thing above them that looks like a boner, ok, Little Oedipus? Grade: F

(by Kelly, age 9)

This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Nice going, Kelly, now pack up your shit and get the fuck out of this house. This shit might pass if you were 4, but you're 9.. old enough to know that some last minute scribblings on napkins just doesn't cut it for Christmas. Grade: F-.

____________________________

18 Weex

2008-04-03T16:33:00.005-04:00

What has 18 weex brought me, you ask? Well, mostly good stuff. My belly is growing and it seems that I'm pregnant now instead of just fat. I get more excited everyday. In just 2 short (but seemingly lllloooonnnngggg) weeks, we'll know if bebe is a he or a she. And as my mom says, she'll know if she's going to be a grandma or a grandpa! :)

I'm beginning to embrace pregnancy instead of fight with it. My boobs are huge and I've learned to just accept that. My bellybutton looks like a blackhole at this point, but I don't mind. My skin is dry and flaky, but who cares?! I couldn't be happier.

My biggest complaint thus far is that I can no longer sleep on my back. Not only is it bad for me and baby, but it causes me a great deal of pain if I do. I LOVE to sleep on my back. I PREFER to sleep on my back. And I just can't do it. My second biggest complaint is what is going on with my legs. Now, I always thought that people with restless leg syndrome (RLS) were just huge fakers. Sorry if anyone reading has or had it, but that was my feeling until about 2 weeks ago. I have developed some sort of RLS now. My muscles don't necessarily cramp up, my legs just WON'T STAY STILL!! I find myself involuntarily jerking my legs around because they feel "weird." It feels sort of like an electric shock is jolting through them. I've been assuming that exercise would help, so I've been walking (in the park, at the mall, on the treadmill) to try and wear the muscles out a bit. It doesn't seem to be helping. I stretched out my legs very well last night and that didn't help either. Has this happened to anyone else?? What did you do about it? Did you just suffer? I'm afraid that's what I'm going to have to do.

Soon we will be doing some minor home improvements to prepare for bebe. We are going to have our new carpet installed soon, maybe by May. We have a few windows to replace and some painting to do. I'm getting very excited!!

I haven't written much about Chris...he's incredibly excited!! He likes to touch my belly and he's always asking me if I'm okay and if I need anything. He's understanding more and more what this pregnancy thing is all about...you know, that it isn't all marshmallows and rainbows. He's been a wonderful help so far and I'm sure he'll continue to be. He's my favoritest, bestest husband ever!! (that's for you Chris)

And here's how I'm shaping up...

It just keeps growing...

The 18 weex funny face...

Sorry that there's no Buddha belly pic this time. I was in a hurry...and yes, I forgot to have Chris take it. I won't miss another Buddha belly pic. I promise. :)

What a deal!

2008-03-31T17:40:00.004-04:00

In this post, I expressed my excitement over the fact that we had FINALLY found the furniture that we want. The crib was on sale at jcpenney.com and I was waiting for the dresser to go on sale. I checked back everyday to check the prices. I went and checked today and found that the dresser is no longer available! WHAT?!? You couldn't even begin to understand my frustration at this point. This is the third line of furniture that I found that I really like that either I found out that I absolutely could NOT afford or that wasn't being made anymore. Life just can't be this difficult!!

Well, I went to JCPenney's store at my local mall (you know, because I just couldn't accept the fact that this dresser was no longer available without hearing from the lips of a teenaged girl who worked in the catalog dept. at Penney's) and found out, after an hour of confusion, that the manufacturer is no longer making that particular piece of furniture. No, it wasn't just backordered. Or out of stock. Or whatever other scenario you can come up with that would eventually get me the dresser. It simply wasn't being made anymore. Things like this don't settle well with an already irritated pregnant woman.

I looked through the baby catalog and found another set of furniture made by the same manufacturer that had the same color line. The only thing different about the dressers is the feet. One has flat platform-like feet and the other has curvy ones. The crib has both...flat platform-like feet and curvy lines. Woohoo!! Here is the dresser we're getting (as opposed to the one in the other post)...

I asked the associate if the finishes would match since they are from the same manufacturer. She said that she was not "allowed" to confirm that but she could tell me that 9 times out of 10 the finishes were the same if the manufacturer was the same...and if they didn't match, I could return everything to the store for a full refund. Yay! I ordered them both on the spot, plus the bedrails to convert the crib into a full size bed...because the sale ends tomorrow!

The cool thing is that the dresser ended up being $50.00 cheaper than expected, the crib was already on sale, and I could save 15% on the total purchase if I opened a Penney's credit card account. I normally pass on those kinds of deals, but 15% off of $600.00 is a good amount of money!! So, not only was everything already on sale, but I saved 15% additionally and had all of the oversized delivery charges waived because I ordered from the catalog department!! I ended up saving $205.00 after sale prices, 15% additionally and the waived delivery fees. Needless to say, I'm a happy person!!

16 Weex Appointment

2008-03-27T11:23:00.005-04:00

I had my 16 weex doctor appointment on Tuesday...which was actually one day shy of 17 weex. It was fairly uneventful. We heard bebe's heartbeat (it was around 150 bpm) and she checked the height of my uterus. It's only about an inch under my bellybutton!

The office was buzzing that day! We ended up waiting forEVER because the doctor that I was scheduled to see was in a delivery when we arrived, so I was to see the other OB who was already swamped. Well, my original doctor came back from her delivery, so I got to meet her. She's wonderful!! She told me that I could schedule my next appointment and ultrasound for anytime between 18 and 20 weex. I was VERY tempted to schedule it at the end of next week, but I want to make sure that we can tell if this kid is a he or she. So, my next appointment is April 17th...exactly 3 weeks from today! I'm sooo excited!

16 Weex Update

2008-03-26T18:58:00.003-04:00

The 16 Weex pictures are now in the 16 Weex post just a few posts below here...

Furniture, furniture, and...

2008-03-19T11:31:00.006-04:00

...more furniture!! That's all I seem to think about these days!! Well, the search is OVER!!

Chris really wanted black furniture. While I'm not at all against black furniture, I really wanted a dark wood finish. We have an existing piece of furniture that will go in the room and I'd rather not paint it. I'd just like to sand it and stain it to match the furniture we get. So...here it is!!

The finish is called "coffee." This is the idea we were going for with the dark wood. And now I'm excited!! I think it will look great with whatever bedding we end up with also! The crib also has the floor drawer that I desperately wanted. Beeeeautiful!

16 Weex

2008-03-18T11:08:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow is 16 weex. Holy...16 weex already? Where did that 4 months go? Oh yeah, praying to the porcelain god, living on the couch and sleeping 12 hours a day to get 3 good hours of sleep. NOW I remember! I am very happy to say that things are finally looking UP!

Within the last week, I've been on 2 walks in the park that were about 1.5 miles each, to the mall once to walk for an hour and to the gym once to walk on the treadmill for 25 minutes. I've eaten healthy dinners at home atleast 4 nights in the past week. I've slowed down on the Hostess and I even find some vegetables appetizing again. I care about how I look again. I haven't puked (with the exception of swallowing an entire mouthful of toothpaste...that would make me puke if I wasn't pregnant) in 2 weeks. I haven't taken any nausea meds for even longer than that. And I have almost no food aversions at this point. Sounds like the yuck is on it's way out. I'm like a whole new person!!

I feel so much better now that I want to be healthier. In being healthier, I've found that my disposition has improved tremendously. I actually don't mind being pregnant now. I look forward to things now, like doctor's appointments and baby showers and new maternity clothes and stuff. I look forward to exercise. Given, it isn't anything to help me lose weight, but it gets me off the couch and moving. That can only help me...my behind needs to see less of the couch.

On the downside, I seem to have a very short fuse now. It isn't with people close to me (most of the time), it's with people I don't know...bad drivers, grocery store clerks, trashmen. I berated a guy at the Department of Public Works last week. Click here to read about that horrific and embarrassing incident. That story is the perfect example of my attitude toward stupidity. I can't stand to be treated like an idiot. I can't stand for people to act like they have absolutely NO effin' common sense. And I can't stand people who insist on braking every 30 seconds simply because it's fun. And DON'T get me started on the grocery store. I almost lost it on the weekend because all of the prepackaged potato salad was expired. I had to keep telling myself, "It's just potato salad. Let it go."

My 16 weex doctor appointment isn't until next Tuesday...at almost 17 weex. We'll see how that goes. I may end up getting another ultrasound. And that would be awesome! There is a slight chance that we will find out the sex. If not this appointment, then the next one in the middle of April. I'm not getting my hopes up, but I've heard quite a few people say they've found out at around 17 weex. It would just be great. If not, oh well.

I *think* I've felt baby move a couple of times. I'm not sure because I've never felt it before. Sort of feels like I'm going to...ummm...toot. But then I never do. Interesting. Hopefully I'll get a more concrete sort of feeling soon.

And here is me...very tired and taking pictures for the sake of having 16 weex pictures...

Growing....

and growing.

The beloved 16 weex Buddha belly...

14 Weex

2008-03-10T16:27:00.010-04:00

**ETA: Blogger was nicer today. Pictures are within this post.**

Things are beginning to get better. I'm sleeping better. My "bad news" from the other post seems to have worked itself out for now. I haven't had to take any nausea meds for a week now. And I am eating a *little* better. I'm still not back to the diet I had before pregnancy, but it's getting better a little at a time.

I am getting more excited. I'm patiently awaiting the "flutters." I can't WAIT to find out if this kid's a boy or girl. Overall, things are better. And THANK goodness. I was beginning to hate pregnancy. I did have a pretty horrible breakdown on Saturday. Stupid hormones...and other things.

And here's how I'm looking...

Getting bigger!!

The 14 Weex Funny Face

Look at that Buddha Belly!!

I still don't look that different from this angle!

And so this is how things are shaping up. Stay tuned for more pregnant ramblings...

Good News and Bad News

2008-03-04T16:22:00.003-05:00

(Wow...two posts in one day. What am I thinking?)

So, which do you want first?? The good or the bad? I've always been a bad news first kind of person, so that's what I'm going to do. And since the bad news happened before the good news, it would forever drive me BONKERS that I posted them chronologically backwards.

Bad News:

**WARNING: This bad news is pretty gross. If you have a weak stomach or have an issue with bathroom humor, STOP reading now and proceed to good news.**

So, along with pregnancy often comes not-so-pleasant things, such as vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, etc. It just goes with the territory I guess. And I really wish someone would have clued me in beforehand so that I could be prepared. As you know, Proper Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance. Anyhooo, I was recently constipated for about a week. I went from Saturday to Saturday with no "movement." It really was horrible. I decided last Saturday that I should probably do something about this problem. I took out the short list of medications that I can take during pregnancy and found that I can take the Dulcolax gentle formula...which "produces a movement within 6 to 12 hours." Yeah, whatever. Try 4 hours.

Anyway, I read the dosage and the package said 1 to 3 pills. I have a horrible fear of laxatives. (Hey, I guess I watch too much TV. If you've seen Dumb & Dumber, you know what I'm talking about.) I only took 1 to be on the safe side. I took this pill at 10:30pm. By 2:30am, I thought death was near. I was having stomach cramps that were making me double over and cry. And I STILL wasn't "moving." I've NEVER in my ENTIRE life actually moaned because I was in so much pain until Saturday night/Sunday morning. This was the most horrible 5 hour event EVER. I also had to vomit while I was going...which had turned into diarrhea by that time. And I'll tell you that is the most uncomfortable thing in the world.

I FINALLY fell asleep at about 7am. I slept until 10:30am and then got up. And then I was fine!! What a HORRIBLE night! I won't be taking anymore Dulcolax.

Good News:

When I got home from work on Monday, I did the normal routine. I let the dogs out, brought them in and gave them treats. As I was walking to another room, Oliver quickly ran in front of me and laid down...as if to say, "Pet my belly!" So, I bent at my waist, ALL the way to the floor, to pet him. As I was doing this, I had a sensation in my lower abdomen as if I'd just went over a hill on a roller coaster!! At first it scared me. I thought, "What is wrong? I just bent over!" And then I realized that it was bebe flipping/rolling over! AWESOME!! I haven't felt it since, but I haven't been bending at my waist either. Apparently he/she doesn't like that! He/she is making him/herself known! I am extremely touched by this and can't wait to feel more!

13.5 Weex

2008-03-04T16:06:00.006-05:00

So, it occurred to me not long ago that in all of my "weex" pictures, I've looked like I've felt...like POOP. I am sort of glad that I look that way because it is really indicative of how things were going for me. When I look at those pictures, I want to remember everything about being pregnant...including the not so good stuff. On the other hand, it's difficult to keep wanting pictures taken of yourself when you look like crap all the time.

Last Saturday, I was feeling particularly good. I went shopping during the day with my mom who was so generous to buy me some very nice maternity clothes. We were then invited to dinner with Chris' parents...to Steak and Ale! What a great place! When I got home from shopping, I took a VERY LONG shower and decided that I should look nice for dinner. I did the hair, put on the makeup and looked nicer than I have in weeks!! And I couldn't let that go without having a picture taken!

Sorry about the crazy shadows, but don't I look like I feel so very much better?? That's because I do! Or...I did until later that night. That's a post all by itself, though.

When I have Chris take these pictures of me, I usually stand by Morgan's food bowl. So, naturally he has to come see what the hell I'm doing by his food.

And Oliver can't let Morgan do ANYTHING without knowing about it himself, so I then had to try and distract Oliver while Morgan pretended to eat (I say "pretended" because he didn't really want to eat...he just wanted to come over by his food because I was there).

And this is how picture days go at our house. Dogs always want to be in them...or atleast under your feet while the pictures are being taken!!

13 Weex

2008-02-28T16:12:00.003-05:00

Oh, dear. It seems that I've exploded in the past 3 weex.

But...I've lost weight! I've only lost a little over 2 pounds, but after the last visit, I'll take what I can get! I haven't been trying to lose weight, it just happened. It couldn't possibly be because of the puking and lack of appetite or anything (which I was given prescriptions for in case of more puking/nausea).

However, I think we found the reason that I've exploded in the past 3 weex...

Yep. It's because of this squirmy little person! Not that we didn't already know that. It's just more real now that we've seen him/her.

I got a good report at the doctor. I just had a very short ultrasound to make sure bebe is okay and that was all! The heartbeat was around 150 bpm and the doctor could NOT quit talking about how much bebe was moving around! She said, "Yes, baby is swimming around quite happily in there! I can't get many good pictures because he/she won't stop doing flips!" So, maybe our kid will be an acrobat and join the circus. What more could we ask for, really?

The ultrasound was very touching. We saw bebe throw his/her arm out and put it by his/her face and then we saw the feet fly up. It was very cool! And now it's confirmed...I HAVE A LIVING THING GROWING INSIDE OF ME!!!!!

Yuck...

2008-02-25T11:13:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was horrible. I felt like hell all day and puked a million times. I'm feeling a little better today, but not 100 percent. I don't have a fever, so I think it is just a surge in my hormones. I'll be glad when the hormones slow down a bit.

Tomorrow I have my 12 week appt. We will get to hear the heartbeat and stuff. We are excited!! And although last Wednesday was 12 weeks, I will take a picture tomorrow and make a 12 weex post to update on everything from the doctor.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Okay, now I'm pregnant.

2008-02-22T11:11:00.004-05:00

I know, weird statement...but here's the story:

A guy came into work today to fill out an application. While the bossman was looking over the application, the applicant and I were standing there waiting in my office in a very awkward silence. I suppose he felt that he had to fill that silence with something. So he said, "Are you gonna have a baby?" To which I replied, "Yes, I am." He then said, "Did you mean to?" And I replied, "Ummm, yes, I meant to. I did it on purpose." He followed with, "That's cool, that's cool. Well, then, I'm happy for you." And I politely said, "Thank you."

I really wanted to say, "Well, I just don't know what I would've done if you weren't happy for me. Even though I've never met you and I now DISLIKE you to a GREAT degree since you are the first person to ask me if I am pregnant, I don't think I would've made it as a parent if you didn't give me your approval. Thanks, jackass."

Funny stuff. So, now someone noticed that I am pregnant and TOLD ME that he noticed...which makes me truly pregnant. Does that mean I really look pregnant or that he's just stupid? I think it's both.

10 Weex

2008-02-19T16:15:00.004-05:00

Yes...here it is. My 10 weex post just one day shy of 12 weex. Yep, you heard me. Tomorrow is 12 weex and here I am writing my 10 weex post. What a slacker I am. Oh well.

Here is me at 10 weex...getting a belly.

How did I feel at 10 weex, you ask? Miserable. Tired. Bloated. Fat. Emotional. Angry. Sick. Guilty. Let's make this easier...you name a feeling and I probably had it. Yes, it was really like that. Ask Chris. He'll be my witness.

I talked to my good friend Jenna today and she just listened and listened and listened. Love her! She assured me that this feeling of irritability that I have toward what is happening to me will subside. I WILL be okay. A million people have told me this, but it's different coming from her. See, I was THERE when she was pregnant for the first time. She was a raging LUNATIC. But she got better about things. And she assures me that, just as for her, things will be okay for me. It was very comforting. Thanks, girl.

The Weekend, Bedding and No Picture

2008-02-11T16:45:00.001-05:00

I had a wonderful weekend! I ate, shopped, ate, relaxed, watched movies, ate and ate. On Saturday, I noticed a DEFINITE change in my appetite...it's GINORMOUS! I really want to eat all the time! Here is what I ate on Saturday:

Breakfast: Two waffles. Then before we left the house, I ate half of a half of a bagel (I KNOW, it's technically a quarter of a bagel, but that sounds funny to me) and I took a granola bar with me.

Ruby Tuesday: Salad, one mini-cheeseburger and half of my fries.

Cold Stone Creamery: Like It size of butter pecan.

Home: Rest of my Ruby Tuesday lunch. About half an hour after that, I ate a leftover piece of Pizza Hut pizza. Then I ate some grapes (I guess I felt guilty for not eating anything healthy all day.)

Dinner: One piece of Totino's pizza and two potato skins.

After dinner: More butter pecan ice cream that I had Chris get at the grocery because the Cold Stone ice cream was yucky (half melted with NO pecans...i mean, what kind of butter pecan ice cream doesn't have any pecans in it??)

Okay, that's the most I've eaten in one day in FOREVER! And Sunday I ate even more than that!! Banana pudding and Nilla wafers is a favorite now...as well as the butter pecan ice cream.

I found out that the Pirate's Cove bedding is made by Cotton Tale Designs. As I was searching today, I came across this set that I like even better!!

And it's called Boxers or Briefs...isn't that cute?!? I know at one time I said I wanted something green, but what I was going for with the green was that it was NOT baby blue. I'm not one for pastels. Never have been. I LOVE how saturated these colors are. And I think the kid could grow with this. I could put anything with it...cars and trucks, animals, sports. LOVE that versatility!

I will apologize for going on and on about bedding...although I haven't as much as some people do. I just like to be prepared for things...and since I can't seem to prepare myself for being a parent, I can atleast prepare for the baby's room!

I will upload a new 10 week pic tomorrow...I promise!! I know, I'm lazy...and hungry!!

Boy vs. Girl

2008-02-07T11:43:00.001-05:00

So, I've been looking at baby stuff. Yes, I know...it's too early. I've sort of picked out the style of furniture that I want and I've been looking at bedding for boys and girls. Boy bedding is so boring. Girls have so many more options than boys. For boys, everything is stupid baby blue or safari animals/sports/cars. There is NOTHING that is red and just a pattern for boys that is affordable. NOTHING. Everything that I like that is just a pattern instead of some sort of character is a million dollars. I'm not spending that. Never.

I went back to http://www.babiesrus.com/ and they have a new set for boys!! I'm sooo excited!! Click here for the link and here's a picture:

Don't you just LOVE those little pirates?!? Yes, I know, they have swords. But I still love it!! And it just seems fitting that my kid would have pirates in his room! Aaargh, matey!

Jumping the Gun

2008-02-01T11:21:00.000-05:00

It's been a pretty quiet day at work. Not sure why...no snow. Anyhoozy, I've been baby shopping. I know, a little premature, but you can never be too prepared. I LOVE this crib and dresser and *must* have them.

BabiesRUs had a similar crib, but I think they are discontinuing it. I found this crib and dresser at JCPenney. Just LOVE them!! The crib is very moderately priced...but that dresser and hutch are, um, alot. But the dresser/hutch is something that could stick around for a LONG time. And the crib is convertible...it turns into a daybed and a headboard for a twin bed. Not sure about the white, but both pieces come in cherry. Chris wants black furniture...I like black furniture, but I don't know how I'd feel about black furniture in a baby room. What do you all think??

In Between

2008-01-31T11:23:00.004-05:00

So, I am too fat (sorry, Chris..."too pregnant") to wear my regular clothes. And I am not fat...err, pregnant enough to wear maternity clothes. What a predicament I'm in! This sucks. I found one pair of jeans that are one size bigger than my regular jeans that will work. I also found one pair of maternity pants that don't really look like maternity pants but have about 2 inches of an elastic waist band at the top. The problem you ask? Both pair are still a little too big. And when I pull my shirt down over them, I look like a lumpy mess.

Over the weekend, I bought a pregnancy magazine. There is an ad in there for something called a Bella Band. Have ya seen this? I was skeptical at first. But I found a less expensive version at Macy's called the Tummy Sleeve. And guess what?!? I have on my maternity-esque pants and I don't look lumpy!!

According to the package insert, I'll be able to use this thingy the entire time I'm pregnant and even after the baby when I'm still fat (yes, FAT, Chris, because I won't have a baby in me anymore). It has worked out beautifully today...and it's not uncomfortable like I suspected!

I've been feeling good. I lost my dinner Tuesday night...still don't really know why. I think I took my nighttime pill on too empty of a stomach, but I don't know. Other than that, I've been eating well and haven't had any nausea...which is GREAT!! Most people I know who've been pregnant or who are pregnant told me that I should expect the nausea until sometime between weeks 12 and 14. "Oh no!!" I thought. I was seriously DREADING being sick for that long. It SEEMS that I've gotten off a little easier than that. And now I hope I haven't jinxed myself for saying that!

I hope to take a 9 week picture tonight. I'm still unsure that I want to take weekly pictures at this point. I'm thinking every 2 weeks would be sufficient until week 30 or so. The changes will be more noticeable and I won't have a million pictures at the end! What do you all think??

The Panty Fiasco

2008-01-29T11:18:00.000-05:00

Don't you just love the word "panty?" Doesn't it remind you of a weird guy in a van with puppies and candy? Sort of perverted, right? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I don't usually say things like this about the opposite sex, but I have decided that a MAN invented underwear sizing for women. No woman would do this to other women.

So, my behind is getting larger. People keep saying, "You're pregnant...it's okay!" Well, it isn't. Over the weekend, I had to go buy new underwear. My current ones aren't too small...YET. But they will be soon and I like to be prepared for things.

I went to my favorite place, WalMart, and decided that I'd go look for some new underwear. You know, just plain Hanes cotton underwear. I do not normally buy this sort of underwear. 95% of my underwear come from Victoria's Secret or Frederick's catalog. Both of those places sell undies in Small-Medium-Large. I just order according to that. I've never looked at what pant sizes the S-M-L coordinate with. I just order them because I know they fit.

I went to the undies section and began my search. I went to the big wall of Hanes/Fruit of the Loom and looked for my size. At eye-level were size 5. If you know me, you know "I ain't no size 5." I mean, I'm not huge, but I'm definitely bigger than size 5. I then noticed that the larger sizes are above and continue to go up as the wall goes up. I was thinking that if size 5 was eye-level that my size would be to the ceiling and then, because I'm short, I wouldn't be able to reach them (a whole different issue). And then I noticed that the sizes topped out at size 10. My pant size is a size 10-12, but I needed bigger because, as I said, my behind is getting larger.

Much to my dismay, there were no bigger undies on this wall. I turned around 180 degrees and saw the full-figured wall. A tear came to my eye. A lump formed in my throat. Was I really going to have to buy full-figured undies at only 8.5 weeks pregnant??

I think I just stood there in the lingerie department at WalMart for 10 minutes or so because I didn't know what to do. I was so very devastated...on the verge of a panic attack or something. I finally went to the full-figured wall and unfolded a pair of size 14 underwear. My tear quickly dried and I laughed out loud. The size 14 was much larger than I needed. Things were looking up.

I went back to the other undies wall. I picked up the size 8 undies and read the package. Did you know that a size 8 panty is for a size 10-12 pant? No woman would do that to other women...it had to be a man. I happily chose my size 10 undies and left the hellhole that is WalMart.

Why is buying things so effin' difficult when you're pregnant? Why can't things be easy?? Why do I almost cry when I'm performing the simplest of tasks? Man, this is just insane.

8 Weex

2008-01-25T19:03:00.000-05:00

I had my 8 week appointment yesterday. It was quite uneventful. Tests, pelvic exam, urine sample, bloodwork and lots and lots of medical history questions.

I was given what I'm calling my "Do/Do Not" book. It has a list of medications I can take and a list of medications that I can't take. It has a list of foods that I should eat and a list that I shouldn't eat. It has exercises that I can and cannot do. It also tells me about classes that I can take and the effects that smoking while pregnant will have on my baby. I didn't really need that part, but it was sort of interesting to read.

My dreams continue to get more strange. My waist line continues to get larger. My all day sickness is almost gone. I'm doing very well.

Blood tests, headaches, crazy dreams...

2008-01-24T11:25:00.000-05:00

I received my blood test results from the 15th. When I had blood drawn on January 7th, my hCG was 39000 and my progesterone was 13.2. When I had blood drawn on January 15th, 8 days later, my hCG was 109000 and my progesterone was 21.6. Yahoo!! Everything's good!

My all day sickness seems to be subsiding. I still feel nauseous occasionally between breakfast and lunch and if I wait too long to eat, but overall things are better. I've now been having sinus problems which led to a headache yesterday the kept me home from work. My teeth/jaw/ear hurt so bad that I couldn't even lie down on my left side on a pillow. That really sucks. It's better today, but still there.

I took a brief nap yesterday while I was home...about 45 minutes of sleep. I've had very vivid dreams for the past 2 weeks everytime I go to sleep. As I was napping yesterday, I had a dream that I was working with some very strong chemicals. I had on gloves, but there was a rip in my left glove. The chemicals got onto my hand, so I went into the bathroom and was frantically scrubbing my hand because it was burning and hurting. When I woke up, the palm of my left hand close to my thumb was BRIGHT red, burning and swollen. It was very freaky. I never did figure out what exactly happened. Weird!!

My dreams are sooo freakin' weird!! The latest one is that I was in a swimming race in a river...the objective was to swim to a cave and recover a poster with Grover from the Muppets on it. I got to the cave second, but the first guy didn't bring a plastic bag to protect the poster. And, as luck would have it, I did!! So, I got the poster and won the race! No, I'm not crazy. I swear. Did anyone else have crazy dreams like this when you were pregnant?

Last night I had a dream about my friend Chris and his wife Michelle. I haven't seen them in almost 2 years!! Why would I dream about them?! Weird.

I have my 8 week appt. today, so there will be another update within the next couple of days about that...and AND AN 8 WEEK PICTURE!! My pants are beginning to get snug...

To my faithful readers...

2008-01-22T13:31:00.001-05:00

I'm still learning blogger settings, but I finally learned how to change the comments formatting. Now anyone can comment regardless of google account or not. Feel free to leave comments...and remember to let me know who you are!!

Ooh, child...

2008-01-21T16:54:00.000-05:00

...things are gonna get easier...

And they have. I may be speaking too soon here, getting the cart in front of the horse, counting my chickens before they're hatched, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush...huh?? What? That one doesn't go! Oh well. It seemed to follow the animal cliche pattern...

I am feeling MUCH better. My weekend was wonderful. I had approximately 4 hours of "bad" time from Friday night to Monday morning. And that, my friends, is an effin' miracle. I even went to Applebee's on Sunday! Yes, I went to a restaurant and didn't get sick! Outstanding!! It was so nice to be a part of the functioning world.

On a serious note, husband and I had a conversation at Applebee's that really made me think about things. I was explaining to him all of the things that pregnancy has done to me thus far. I spoke mostly of mental and emotional things. I've been thinking of moments in my life, my WHOLE life...like from 5 years old to now, that were very significant that I may have blocked out or forgotten about or whatever. These memories seem to enter my brain just whenever they decide to. I'll be driving along and I'm suddenly thinking about one time when I was about 9 and I was soooo mad at my brother for bothering me and I yelled, "I HATE YOU!!" at him. And he immediately stopped what he was doing. He had the saddest look on his face. And he said, "Well, I don't hate you. And even if you made me mad, I would NEVER say that to you." And he left me alone. I got exactly what I wanted, yet I felt so bad about that. I've never forgotten that moment. I don't hate my brother. I love him lots! And I've never said, "I hate you." to anyone since.

It's these sort of memories that are bombarding me. It's almost like my brain is forcing me to put my life into perspective. It is frustrating, but I sort of welcome the memories. I've gotten so caught up in present life that I've forgotten or overlooked how past life has shaped me and made me a better person.

Being pregnant really is a life-altering event. I feel that having the baby will be a separate event...a more significant one. My friend Nicole sent me a MySpace comment that said, "Pregnancy is getting your ass kicked from the inside." And yes, Nicole, it is. I'm already taking a mental beating!! But things are definitely getting brighter.

A cross-reference post...

2008-01-16T14:45:00.000-05:00

I wrote an entry at Traffic In The Sky today that crossed over into pregnancy world. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that. But I did. Call it pregnancy insanity, or whatever. I want to post part of it here so that I can have it for the Blurb book I’m going to have made. Here goes:
I got an email from my friend Laura yesterday that was so very insightful…

“I am feeling fine, pretty normal. All the icky feelings from the first trimester have been gone for a while and it is just crazy that I am over half way there now. It is scary! I mean exciting but scary too! I have no idea how I am going to take care of a baby and get no sleep and all that. I also have no idea how I am going to work from home 2 days with a newborn, and the dogs! I know everyone says it will be fine. But still I like to know how things are going to be ahead of time. And since I have no way of knowing that, it is scary to me!What on earth have we gotten ourselves into???!!! “

Great. Now I have a whole new area of worrying. That last line really sticks with you. What have we done?! I think I am correct in saying that Laura and I are alike in the fact that we like to have things planned out. We like to know what’s ahead and know what to expect. And, as she says, there is NO way of knowing. What the hell were we thinking??
Well, Laura, as I’ve been told 1,453,454,579,832.648 times, “It is all worth it in the end.” Keep your eyes on the prize, girl.

It's Official...

2008-01-14T14:20:00.000-05:00

…that test is positive. I am almost to 7 weeks and things are looking great!
We decided to not tell the world when we found out on December 22. It’s so difficult to untell something of this magnitude. But things are going well and we’re so excited!! I know I couldn’t have waited much longer!!

Noone told me...

2008-01-07T14:45:00.000-05:00

…that I’d go from feeling like death to feeling fine 700 times a day.
…that my boobs would hurt so bad that I don’t even like to wear a shirt.
…that things that are usually tolerable would bug the SHIT out of me.
…that I’d worry about everything all the time.
Thanks everyone. Give a girl a warning. :)

Off To A Wonderful Start

2008-01-02T14:30:00.000-05:00

Today is 5 weeks. I began bleeding at 5 weeks last time. I have expressed concern to husband, but he said that he has decided to keep this one. :) I am sad that all I can think about is the miscarriage, but I am so excited!! This will be interesting…