Well, 22 weex has proven to be a little more stressful. I am WAY more apprehensive about things...even things that won't happen for 10 or 15 years. I've just recently realized that Jayna will grow up and be an adult someday. And I'm already sad. Oh dear.
I'm having these weird pains in my ribs. I'm sure it's just because my whole midsection is expanding, but these pains take my breath away! It really hurts. I often have to stop what I'm doing and stretch my abdomen. Sometimes it just stays at a dull ache for hours...and that's worse than just getting a pain for a few minutes.
I'm having a difficult time remembering things...and I'm extremely hard on myself for it. Today has been the worst day for me in regards to forgetting things and doing stupid things. I guess this is what they call pregnancy brain. And I hate it. I get upset over something so little and then I get upset with myself because I even let it upset me in the first place. Here is what has gone wrong today and my reactions:
* First thing this morning my dog Morgan REFUSED to get up and go outside. I talked sternly to him. I talked nicely to him. I talked excitedly to him. And then I said #@*% it and left him in his bed. On my way back to the bedroom, he decided he wanted out. And that pissed me off. He's a dog. He doesn't know. But I was still pissed at him. I never yelled, but I wanted to.
* When I let the dogs out this morning I noticed that the patio was wet around the hose and then the water ran down the patio. Well, last night there was a freeze warning . We brought in the plants. About an hour before we brought them in, I watered them and apparently forgot to turn off the hose. And OH SHIT! The water froze and the pipe burst! Well, that was what I thought had happened. Nope. The sprayer just leaked a little. I turned off the hose this morning and sprayed the sprayer and everything was fine. But I almost cried because we already had to replace that pipe once since we lived here. And I thought Chris would be mad. And he wasn't, nor would he have been. But I was sure afraid he'd be mad at me for not paying attention.
* Last night after dinner I loaded the dishwasher and put all sorts of things in there that Chris and I use at work or in the morning (travel coffee mug, Nalgene bottle for water, breakfast dishes for my cereal that I take to work) thinking I'd run it right after I got out of the shower. I forgot. So all of the things we use in the morning were in the dishwasher and were still dirty. I was very angry at myself for that. I'm not used to forgetting this many things. It was no big deal. We just washed the things we needed this morning. But still...how many things can I forget at once??
* I went to Sam's today and bought 6 lbs. of hamburger because it was way cheaper than buying it at the grocery. I came home to divide it into 6 packages and then realized that we have like a 2 inch sliver of aluminum foil. How can I freeze 6 lbs. of hamburger with 2 inches of aluminum foil? DAMMIT!! Yes, I can refrigerate it until tomorrow and buy foil after work and come home and wrap it. But again, still...how many things can I forget at once??
* We're trying to make an annual mother's day event at our house. The first year was last year, so no one really knows to plan on coming here for mother's day. Meaning I have to actually tell people. So I planned this big barbeque for May 10th and then didn't tell who?? Yes, Chris' parents. You know, one of the people who would be honored...HIS MOM?!? Who forgets shit like this? People have to be told things to know them. I should atleast know that by now. So hopefully they haven't yet made plans for that day. I was really upset about this one. I did shed a tear or two. I just really hope they can come.
* I decided I wanted eggplant for dinner. I grabbed the eggplant to chop it up and...it's already bad. I just bought it on Saturday. It's only Wednesday. I hate everything.
So, that's just one day. Hopefully days like today won't happen often. I've been really down on myself for the last few weeks and that is VERY unlike me. I doubt everything I do and every decision I make and I get so upset over things that are so stupid. I'll write Part II: The Good tomorrow. I can't really think of good things right now.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
22 Weex Part I: The Bad
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4 comments:
Don't be to hard on yourself. You are only human. It happens to everybody. You will get past this. Hope everything gets better for you.
Summer
You are too funny. I am kinda forgetful sometimes anyways, so I really like to have an excuse for it! :) But I totally have done the dishwasher thing... about 12 times. I learned that I need to tell Lee when I mean to turn it on, and he will do it in case I forget! Because I will really get everything all in there load it up with soap, lock it and all that, then just not turn it on!
Seriously, stop being so hard on yourself though. It is no good for you. Just go with the flow - you can't control everything (I wish I could though!), and face it - you are going to make mistakes... everyone does; no big deal!
And the pain in the ribs - I totally had that and still do sometimes, but I remember it was really bad when I was where you are at. I just popped tylenol and leaned back - it seemed like the more I hunched over the worse it would hurt; no need to suffer! :)
Most of this stuff happens normally anyway. It's just bugging you a little more because of those hormones. Take it easy on yourself. We all forget things. You know I do-alot.
Everyone is right. Everything you are going through is normal. But wait until you have little missy. You want to believe everything will go back to normal after having her, however the baby brain (ie forgetfullness, indecision, and aches and pains) doesn't go away completely! But you do get to enjoy your little girl! It will get better, once your hormones settle down.
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