Oy.

I am so excited that I can hardly contain myself! Only 26 hours until we know!

Things are getting very real for me now. I am now realizing the extent of what we've done...the physical toll that it will take on my body, the way it will change my relationship with Chris, the fact that we will hardly ever be alone and the fact that we will be responsible for another living thing...a human.

This has been very difficult for me. I have never been one to doubt myself. Sure, I have my days, but they just come and go. For the past week, I've doubted every decision I've made for as long as I can remember and I am doubting that I will be able to make sound, rational decisions in the future. I doubt my ability to be a parent. I doubt my ability to even give birth...which I really don't have a choice about! I'm anxious about everything and I almost cry everyday about it. I do talk to Chris everyday about how I'm feeling and, although he may be tired of hearing about it but will never tell me that, he is so very sweet and concerned. He listens and reassures. He is very helpful. And I love him.

I'm sure this is normal. I don't *know* that, but it seems like something every mother-to-be should go through. I know deep down that things will be okay...but I need to see it to believe it. The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Milan, would say that I need to believe it to see it. I'm sure he's right. A strong belief in myself can be nothing but helpful. I'll get to work on that ASAP.