The Last Double-Digit Week

So, here's the story:

I went to Panera yesterday to get dinner for my friend Laura and I. After I had ordered and paid, the cashier guy asked me, "So, how much longer do you have until you have your baby?" I responded, "Tomorrow will be exactly 10 weeks until my due date." And, you know what he said? He said, "How cool, then the week after that you'll be down to single-digit weeks!!"

I froze.

I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I couldn't respond in any way. I must have looked like a deer in headlights.

He then said, "Oh my gosh, I'm sooo sorry!! You didn't realize that, did you? I didn't mean to freak you out! I'm so sorry!"

No, Mr. Cashier Man. I didn't realize that. But thank you for pointing it out. And that isn't a sarcastic statement. Truly, thank you. I need to start thinking of this pregnancy a little more seriously...a little more, should we say, immediate. I need to get my bag ready for the hospital. I need to choose a pediatrician. I need to pay for my doula services. I need a car seat. Holy shit. NOW is the time to panic!!!

When I left Panera, I went to see my friend Laura and her almost-five-week-old baby. This left me a little more panicked than I had thought it would. I think the realization that I'd be in Laura's shoes in just 10 (or less) short weeks got to me. Can I do it? Will I be good at it? There are so many things to get done and buy and think about...again...NOW is the time to panic!!!

I am now VERY nervous about my natural childbirth class next week. I think that may have something to do with the topics of discussion at last week's childbirth prep class. We learned about all of the things that could possibly go wrong. And there are so many things that could go wrong. I know it's just "could," but it's still a little frightening. Can I have a baby naturally? Am I cut out for this? Up until now, I've thought, "Hey, people in other countries have babies with no pain management ALL THE TIME. I'll just pretend like I have no pain management options." Yeah...no. I can't do that now. I've learned about my pain management options and I can no longer pretend they aren't there.

So, I will repeat...NOW IS THE TIME TO PANIC!! What have we done?!? We are sooo not prepared for this. A woman I worked with awhile back once told me that if you wait to have kids until you're prepared, you'll never have kids. That has become my mantra. I repeat that in my head over and over again when I have freak-out moments such as this one. I just hope she is right...